I don’t smoke, drink, or use drugs to modify my mood. I eat. I am not just a recreational food user. Butter on coarse bread sedates me; sausage and cheese hops me up.Chocolate is an excellent drug and legal in all 50 states.
Yesterday I was bored, and so was Gary, so we tried an adventurous drug: sushi. No eels, no hard stuff, just raw tuna and avocado and veggie roll with that seaweed they could make into paint tarps. (I found out too late last night you can ask ask them to replace the seaweed with a thin chewable rice-based substance.)
A few hours after we ate the sushi Gary and I were in bed. I said, eloquently, “I am going to die,” and then I belched.
“I know! I feel awful! What was in the sushi?”
“I’d say raw fish.”
“Maybe we have mercury poisoning.” He burped.
We both felt miserable. I described to Gary what was happening in my digestion.
Gary said “Yeah! That’s just how I feel.”
So that was a bad food trip, and then after the day I had today I needed some bread and butter comfort. I spread my favorite butter-flavored butter from Denmark on a fresh hearty roll. After a few chews my body rebelled and before my brain could form the thought “rancid” my body had spewed the bread and butter into the sink, followed by retching, followed by vomiting. By then my brain had thought “Rannnnciddd!! Get it out! Get it out! Okay! It’s gone. Bleah! Why are we still puking?” I’m better now, of course, so I just finished a chocolate croissant.
Still, two bad trips in a row. Bummer, dudes.
22 responses to “Food Has Turned”
When good food goes bad – no wait, that didn’t come out right.
When your dinner bites you back – no, still not right.
I have to ferry a daughter to Kings of Leon. I’ll get back to you.
No, see, I’ve gone past it now. All I’ve got is that green-faced Asian lady in the famous portrait, what was her name, Sushi Wrong?
Oh, and bitter butter makes your batter better. But you knew that.
Oh dear, what a shame.
Great description though.
You can’t ditch the seaweed next time, that’s the best part!
Maybe you’ve got the same thing I had for two weeks. Heaven help you. Immediately go on the BRAT diet – bananas, rice, applesauce and (dry) toast. Either that or just buy a couple of tubs of Kozy Shack rice pudding (do NOT get the cinnamon rice – it has bits of sticks in it!) and live on that for a week. I guarantee you’ll feel better. Kozy Shack will never, ever turn on you.
I never eat a fish that wasn’t swimming around less than 24 hours previous to my consumption of it.
At least once a week at my workplace, sushi gets ordered for a lunch meeting. The remains are always left in the kitchen for anyone to munch on throughout the afternoon. Every time I see that, I think: “Really?” Because sushi is so dicey anyway. Leftover sushi? GROSS.(I am sorry for your misfortune…but it made for an amusing entry. I mean, Godzilla lives in your belly now? Awesome!)
I cannot eat seafood — no shell fish, and most sea fish doesn’t work so well. However, I love sushi, and there are all vegie, chicken, and beef sushies. Happiness!
A new sushi place just opened near the campus. I love it. They make an Angus beef sushi (with crab for those as can eat it) and a Turkey Pastrami sushi. I’m lobbying for bacon sushi because bacon makes everything better. They also do a variety of vegie sushis. Ahhhh happiness is!
What? Why are you looking at me like that? This is SOUTH CAROLINA, the Upstate, in the Appalachian foothills. It’s Southern Sushi!
At least it isn’t breaded and deepfried!
Bacon sushi! Sherri, you could be onto something. Just wrap whatever in bacon. How could it not be great?
I love how you described the very detailed monster and his very detailed actions and Gary feels “just the same way,” True love. My (other) sister says you know you can make it as a couple when you have been through the stomach flu together.
Wonder why just spitting out the rancid butter wasn’t enough. Bummer.
Okay, I would like to add that you tried the wrong kind of sushi first. I always steer new sushi eaters to the stuff that has cream cheese in it. (Because everything is better with cream cheese) In addition, the ingredients or possibly the whole roll should be deep fried. Yes, it’s still sushi. Other than that, definitely try stuff that has avocado and or mayo as a main ingredient. My favorite: Spicy calamari roll and the deep fried philly roll.
So sorry to hear of your sushi and rancid butter-flavored butter dispepsia. I’m just glad as hell that scaly bastard didn’t try to claw his way out the other direction! Did he come up with the butter?
Any food that previously ate on its own must be cooked. Period.Here’s a surefire tummy rememdy I stumbled across many years ago: Grandma’s vanilla sandwich cookies. The cheap ones with the blue plastic wrapper. I have no idea why, but they settle my stomach every time.
Big Dot – I know no such thing, in fact I know the opposite. Greenwords – My teeth are too dull to bite through the seaweed, and the sushi is to big to bolt down like a pill.Becs – I looked for Kosy Shack today but I was at a new (cheaper) grocery.Hattie – Supposedly they are FedExed to this place, but who knows.Erin G – He still lives there, but like a baby he has turned. His tail is up my throat now but at least he isnt positioned to be a breech birth anymore.Sherri – Somewhere today I ran across a recipe for chicken fried bacon.Gaoo – Go here! http://tinyurl.com/ctw2ml Amy in StL – Not spicy, but they were all beginner rolls – veggie, crispy shrimp, california, spider, and rainbow.Lots of avocado and at least two had cream cheese.Mare – Nope, and that was a little surprising. I got pretty nauseated this afternoon too and he held on.Caroline – Huh. I might have to try that tomorrow if this doesnt stop.
*sigh* These half-remembered snippets are quietly turning into a major worry. It’s only a matter of time before I’m chanting ‘i before e every time after c’.
I must have bacon sushi now. Damn.
Ellen, if you ever make it out to NJ for any reason, I will take you for the most tasty non-pain-inducing sushi known to man. This invitation of course includes Gary.
I will never eat sushi in a land-locked state again. No, never ever again. It’s not worth the money when it’s not super fresh.
Big Dot – Where you live that your daughter got to go see Kings of Leon? I love them!Becs – I LOVE KOZY SHACK!ALL…I have never had bad sushi.
#0.75 – In New Zealand. She said she was so close she could see them sweating. Oh the glory!
Big Dot – I though it might be a different version in NZ. Are you all a prison colony too? Like Australia and America?Tami – Actually, just tonight Godzilla has boiled back into the ocean. First night I’ve been okay since Sushi night..75 – How can you NOT know Big Dot is from NZ. You bring shame on our country.Big Dot – Sigh. I apologize for .75.
God, NOOOOO! No convicts here, no, no, no! Missionary settlements, us (apart from the whalers and sealers that made one sleepy holiday town up north “the Hellhole of the Pacific” back in the early 1800s).
Also, try that convict thing on in the state of South Australia and just watch those nostrils flare.
Queen – Like I pay attention to anyone else’s comments but my own?
Actually, church settlements, not missionary. And how did you make the jump from Betty Botter to penal colonies?
I know I’m late to the party, but that is absolutely how I feel EVERYTIME I eat sushi. Even without raw fish. Honestly, I think it has egg in it somewhere because that is the only food (especially of the 18 I’m allergic to) that makes me feel like that.
Bleh.
Big Dot – Well, I tell you, I’ve always heard of Austrailia as the penal colony, and heard of the whores transported to Austrailia to service the men in the penal colony. Then I was in the Tower of London and read a display reading “they were then sent to penal colonies like Australia and America.” I assumed we got all the people persecuted and convicted for their religion, of course..75 – ! You are always cross-chatting.Big Dot – I’ve just wondered. Oh, and Flight of the Conchords is over. Shiny object!Overflowing Brain – I had a raw quail egg once wih sushi but felt no ill effects. My sushi reaction differed a lot from my raw eggs reaction. Godzilla would be returning in a great rush to the sea if it were eggs.