Now that the Hip Crisis is now the Hip Problem, I can complain. And in typical egocentric fashion, I am here today to complain about how Ken’s horrible hip problem affects my belly. I have been required to eat my last few meals at the DePaul Hospital cafeteria.
Here are the entree selections in the “Cafe” for the last few days:
Pepperoni Pizza
Pre-wrapped hamburgers and hot dogs with pre-boxed French Fries
Fried [Fill in the blank] Protein. This varies by day. So far I’ve seen Fried Chicken Strips, Country Fried Steak, Fried Shrimp, and Fried Catfish.
The above is served with Cheese [Fill in the blank] Vegetables or Collard Greens, a happy spot of color in the row of browns and orange. There is also succotash, happily. I love succotash.
A salad bar with four items: iceberg lettuce, cherry tomatoes, green pepper, hard-boiled egg
Evidently, DePaul Hospital is skewing its menu not toward the nurses and doctors who want healthy food but toward the patient’s families who they must think want Fried Comfort Food. And PIE my gawd the pie. Gary got Coconut Cream Raspberry Pie. A la Waitress I got My In-Laws Crazy Pecan Pie.
Then, on top on all this comfort food (or really against the side wall) there are pre-made desserts: ice cream bars, Rice Krispie Treats, and …
Whole-wheat Pop Tarts.
These are an abomination. Earlier this month I was getting back at Gary for missing the cruise, and I did that by defiantly eating “bad” food. When I got the box of Chocolate Pop-Tarts home and realized they were whole-wheat I thought, “Oh, how bad can it be?”
It can be bad.
I had to go out and buy a box of Real Chocolate Pop-Tarts to wash the taste out of my mouth and restore my now-defiled childhood memory.
(An aside: seriously, even the real ones didn’t have the crispy delicious corners of my childhood. I think they’ve made all the Pop-Tarts lower in fat as a reaction to the Dave Barry Pop-Tart expose. (Aside aside: That same thing happened to my friend Theresa. They re-habbed their kitchen and decided to celebrate with Pop-Tarts the next morning. The Pop-Tarts ignited and whooshed flame up to the freshly lacquered cabinets. Heartbreaking. Dave Barry could have made it funny.))
At any rate: why Whole-Wheat Pop-Tarts after they have obviously embraced the Soul Food – College Food Fusion cuisine? I’ll have to deduct a star.
16 responses to “Cuisine dePaul”
I’m glad that’s not where I’ll be enjoy 4 days of fine dining later this summer.I remember chocolate pop tarts being better, too. Of course, I never toasted a pop tart or frozen waffle until I was an adult. My mother was of the belief that toasters are for bread only. Everything else goes in the microwave or oven. Imagine my surprise when I ate my first toasted Eggo!
Tried to read the Dave Barry article. My eyes crossed. Who the heck told this man that it was OK to center an entire column?I’m sure it could have been interesting.Poptarts, like most kid-remembered food, is nasty. Snowballs are the same way.
Glad to hear Ken has been upgraded from crisis to problem. I do so hope to avoid hospital cafeteria. Hear that, friends and family?
That article introduced me to Dave Barry. I’ve spent the last 15 minutes reading his columns, laughing so hard tears were coming out of my eyes, and drool was flying in many, many directions as I tried to explain to my husband why I was rolling around, wheezing and purple, on the living room floor.
When Kent was in the hospital (for a week divided into two knee surgeries) I was lucky because I didn’t have to stay 24/7, (like we did with his mom that had a stroke and then pneumonia) was to take sandwiches made with homemade hummus, shredded carrots and slices of cucumber. These are sooooo good and super healthy, let me know if you want the recipes. I also realized that the nurses were thrilled that I was there because I took care of the piddly stuff. They have a microwave and a drink machine they will probably let you have access to or will use for you. The Michelina (?) chinese dinners have 2 gr of fat and are super cheap. If you like pop-tarts try the fiber one pop tarts. I can’t recommend the chocolate ones but the cinnamon sugar aren’t bad and the strawberry and blueberry are so sweet they make me a little ick. I don’t eat a lot sugar (which makes my size “HUGE” all the more puzzling.” Mayo is no longer made with fresh eggs and has been pasturized so it’s okay to be out for a few hours or take a cooler and you will be fine. I only ate in the hospital cafe once and that was enough to convince me I would never do it again, and I didn’t. You do have choice, just think outside the box. Y’all are in my thoughts.
When I lived in Orlando, one of the hospitals there was famous for its truly fab cafeteria food. Srsly. Families would go there for Sunday dinner. And because it was run by 7th Day Adventists, the food was supposedly very healthy. Hospital food in Jersey is regulation horrible.
In New Brunswick, NJ, should you ever have to be hospitalized there, the cafeteria at RWJUH (Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital) is vastly, vastly superior to the food at St. Peter’s, but I like St. Peter’s better, medically, for everything except heart attacks. I recommend importing food from outside the hospital. It can be done.Ooh – also, St. Peter’s has a “pay once” parking lot. If you save your receipt, you don’t have to pay again to park that same day.
ScottieDawg – If you enjoy his columns, check out his books. Just go to the library and check them all out. Soooo funny. (Sorry, Queen, I know how it bothers you for the conversation to not be directed to you.)
Caroline – Oh, that is sad. Raw PopTarts? I told you about the college pop-tart that had a MAGGOT in it, right?Hot Mom – Nah. Gary still eats Snowballs in one bite.3 – Hey, you know I don’t invite you to the hospital.ScottieDawg – You dont know of Dave Barry? Where have you been? My favorite is the the “non-funny one” that won him the Pulitzer. Go here:https://www.davebarry.com/natterings_files/daveMILLIONWORDS.pdf Surprising Woman – Are you sure? All the other Michelina dinners have 20g fat across the board.Becs – Oh, no, Tami says New Brunswick is tasty.Tami – Well, that is nice. but DePaul has free parking out here in the Midwest. OH WAIT. You were talking to Becs. Sorry to interrupt. Carry on!Caroline – Talk amongst yourselves.
Hey! I live right up the street from DePaul.
Hmmm, I had a poptart last week from our canteen at work. After toasting, I thought it was just as crunchy as ever. However, I haven’t tried the whole wheat ones. That’s an abomination against nature.
And I still love Pop Tarts but know better than to eat them.
Since we might be eating our way out of depression I thought I would send you a few links. I have some of these in my freezer because of a sale but I have NOT tried most and can’t recommend any of them, but they are a dollar, what the heck!Here’s a link to the low fat page, the chinese are the lowest.Yummmmm
.75 – Oh, look how virtuous you are, she grumbled.Amy In StL – No! Don’t go low-fat!Surprising Woman -Oooh, that “depression” comment gave me a sick little feeling, then I went out to the message board. Crap. And – what link? Where?
SurprizingWoman – Okay, have they completely erased the chicken pot pie? Wait! Damn – that was Marie Callendars. That’s whats wrong. I am sorry, Michelina.
Sorry! michelinas.com/HealthyLiving_Fat.aspx [ED 2025] Whoops – looks like Michelina’s has given up on healthy foods. That link is broken.