I am truly not making fun of Mormons. Today. Certainly not when they are in the great beyond Click here to imperil your eternal soul.)
“That’s silly. You are making that up. I don’t believe a word you say.”
“No, Mom, I’ve seen pictures! On the Internet!”
“Well,” Wilma said archly, “I don’t believe everything I read on the Internet.”
So, good for Wilma. She doesn’t believe in Mormon underwear. Really, it’s fitting since Like this:
22 responses to “Semper Ubi Sub Sanctus Ubi”
The Mormon underwear is completely true. As a former member of the LDS church, I can attest. Depending on how whacky you get about it, there are even instructions about how never to be ‘naked’ while changing into clean Mormon underwear, taking a shower/bath, or having sex.I escaped the church just before they would have started suggesting the underwear — garment of modesty, I think some called it. All very long ago and far away now.Not every Mormon wears it, but a lot do. Wilma, however, has lived in her personalized world for a long time and I think she’s comfortable there.Ya know, Wilma might believe it if she knew it was all about being modest and never naked.
We are all naked beneath our clothes. Rita Rudner said so.
Becs, I think of that sometimes, and shudder.
Another post in the fine Mediocretia tradition of passing on obscure snippets of information.(Becs, fine comedienne though she is, I’m sure someone else beat Rita to that observation. And I don’t mean the band.)
Sherri – as I understand it (from a Mormon, not Wikipedia), the garment is also a hidden constant reminder of your convanants with God, like circumsion would be in Judaism. Wima would like the extra modesty ascpect, and also the bonus “Not as cold” aspect. (“Never naked” made me think ofthe “never nude” plotline from Arrested Development, too. Thanks!)Becs – Rita Rudners first HBO special was hysterical, and then she peaked and was good but never as good, just like Eddie Izzard’s standup.Sherri – It’s supposed to make you less nervous.Big Dot- maybe obscure in NZ? You must have Mormons there too! And speaking of obscurity, what band? Is there a NZ band called Beating Rita?
Weird. I was just discussing garments with co-workers over lunch today.I learned a downside of the garment from Friend #7 when we worked together. She was without power for a week following a storm and mentioned she was running out of clean underwear. Thinking of my 3 for $7 Hanes Her Way cotton undies, I told her to just go buy some. Apparently garments are neither inexpensive nor readily available at Target.
My best friend in high school is Mormon. She just had her second child like 3 days ago (she’s 25). As much as I like to poke fun at the Mormons, they are always damn nice people. Crazy, but nice.And also, if you put a WBC count on your white board, be sure not to write the word TRASH on it anywhere, lest it disappears again.
‘Beating Rita’? Now that does sound rude. No, there’s a band called Naked Underneath (I only know that because I googled the phrase – don’t go thinking I’m cool, or anything). Is there ANYWHERE that’s Mormon-free? They just seem to have a lower profile here than in the US – or at least on the blogosphere, where I’m constantly surprised at the number of references. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Thinking about some people being naked under their clothes kinda scares me. I have a very visual imagination — Hi Def 3 D with Surround Sound. There are things stuck in my head that I just can’t delete, try though I might.As for the underwear, yeah, I think I heard that, too. I was converted in my early teens, realized the mistake the very instant it was too late to back out, gave it a solid go for 7 years, and backed out the weirder and more cultish it felt.Hanes! All the way!
(And yet, Sherri, the image of the blonde wig as Gary’s carpet – IN MOTION – has left you unscathed? Me, I’m scarred for life.)
My dentist is Mormon. The one who groped me before and then groped me again this evening. Mormons.
Caroline – Oh. See, I just turn my underwear inside out. Can’t she do that?Big Dot – Yeah, it’s like if you are Mormon with clinical depression you must get a blog site immediately.Overflowing Brain – a) Oh – so true! They are the best people. And they get whatever they pray for. Child abducted? Oh, no, she’s right here, alive. and b) You hush up.Sherri – Yeah. Were you around for the Salamander letter scandal/murder?Big Dot – (I am sitting quietly waiting for you and Sherri to finish your conversation. Carry on.)Becs – Well! I clicked your link instantly!
Apparently, when men turn their underwear inside out, it doesn’t fit so well. HA!
Big Dot – Gary’s turns his inside out often. It still fits> Is he doing it wrong?
He must be very symmetrical, so the moulding still fits. He evidently doesn’t, as tailors used to say, dress to the left, or right.I seem to be becoming remarkably familiar with Gary’s nether regions. (I nearly said that they had been looming large.)
Big Dot – He is very symmetrical, so much so that I never understood the dress to the left or right business.Plus, I’d like you speak for the Southern hemisphere and ask you why Austrailias ex-prime minister is such a diva that he wouldnt give up his room at the Blair House so the Obamas could stay there like every other President-elect.
What can I say? Australian PMs are a mystery to me: the current one is totally miscast – you have only to look at him to see he should have been a dentist. And the previous one is an MCP wazzock who thought it would choke him to say sorry to the Aboriginals – hmmm, seeing a connection here?
Big Dot – No way! I guessed it!
I think I read somewhere recently that Mormons have sex through a hole in their underwear. For knowing this, I blame the internets.
gaoo – I think early on they did. And there are sites that explain how you can avoid nudity.
Who knew the Mormon underwear post would be so popular?
.75 – I know. You all were chatty.