Reasons I Don’t Twitter
As I understand it, twitter is essentially texting, which is essentially Instant Messaging. Please review an example of an IM when we worked at Elliott:
Marcia: Hey, I have a question
Me: What
Marcia: Can you come over?
Me: busy
Marcia: We were thinking of getting Chinese, do you want some?
Me: fried rice
Marcia: Do you want to go out or get delivery
Me: busy
Marcia: stop working a minute
Me: I AM BLOCKING YOU
(Can you picture me with kids? “STOP PESTERING ME CHILD! I AM BLOCKING YOU. YOU ARE DISMISSED.”)
or as posted before:
Me: su does hwe want us to tesat the product befoire or after>
Caroline: Before, I would imagine.
Me: welkl hbouw does he expct us to test it without a sigbed contratc?
Caroline: Get. An. MRI.
IM now has developed into another type of pestering, text messaging. I do not have a text plan on the iPhone because up till this year, Arzanna-fay was the only one who has ever texted me, and she has important things to say, both on IM and text. So, instead of the five dollar a month text messaging option, we got the pay-as-you go option, and I have no idea how much I’m paying, so I assume it’s five dollars a text. So, here is an example of a text conversation from last night, as I was driving to Friend 1’s birthday party. From out of the blue:
.75
Tell Cat and Graq I am going 2 B late
Me
noyb there yet
I don’t text
.75
Well I aint calling a noisy bar! : P
Me
Not even there
Basaaaaad traffic
Dmanotdpnt make me text
Not ok plano
not on plan
.75
U dont * have 2 reply
Me
K
(later)
Thor that pissarr u off
.75
Have 2 have the last word huh?
* Through that whole conversation it annoyed me that .75 did not use apostrophes when appropriate.
Text messaging has now branched out into twittering. I would not have the patience for any spell check, and any replies would have met with “BUSY.” So, essentially, were I to have twittered yesterday:
I am eatig a donut
I am eating leftoverpizza
Gary has had glass in his foot for a wekke and finally got it taken out. Thanks be top the patron saint of glass.
the Carter institue has almost eradicatyed the painful worms thar eat theior way out of your body. Yay!
My high sckool latin teacher once told our class he and his friends would take down theoir pants and do something called squirelling which was like swordfighting with ther penises. penii. I don’t know why this didn’t shock me.,
Stocks r boring 2day. Only down 14 – yawn.
2 projects cncelled. I am going 2 b laid off
Back on another project. Boss says not to worry
Pasta House found my sungl;asses! Yay!
Sitting in traffic on way to Catherines party at McGurks
Gah
F’ing tradfic
Eating steak and loing island iced trea
Holly is here! Yay! looks skinny and just had a robot take out her uterus.
Gah. Irish music is loud. Leaving.
As a coda, Gary thinks Twitter is genius. I think Gary should twitter. He was just in bed with me and out of the blue asked me what research papers I had written in college. (“Sex Roles in the Tlingit Indian Society.”) He needs another outlet for that shit.
17 responses to “T-Minus 5”
It’s remarkable how your texting improves with a few drinks inside you – much like my French, I have to say.
Caroline’s “Get. An. MRI.” is still a classic.
This twittering shit looks like your version of The Canturbury Tales written in Olde English
ROFL to you and the comments! I HATE texting. I wonder if that is because I have a razr instead of a qwerty keyboard to work with…and you have NO idea how much I miss McGurk’s. *sigh* It’s been 5 years since I left STL and every time I go to our local Irish pubs I just end up missing McGurk’s and their fish.
Twitter is a good venting tool. That’s about it. Oh and it was a handy way to find out we were having an earthquake when no news stations were reporting it yet.
I like testing better on my Curve than I did on my Pearl (love phone names) but I actually got pretty good on the 10 key. At least I had a perfect excuse for the typos.I text more than I call on the phone, mostly because I hate holding the damn thing up to my ear, and I also hate yelling into the speakerphone. I’m also beginning to hate talking at all. Typing is so much more quiet.
Big Dot – Mais oui! And evidently my Old English as well.3 – Yep, still makes me laugh too.Hot Mom – Ha! You are right – I think “wekke” was all Chaucer.Yookie – Get this: Friday? McGurks HAD NO FISH SPECIALS. That is just wrong.Kathy – The earthquake was at 5 am or something, though. What if there hadn’t been a quake and you got on Twitter and said, “Did you feel that?” Can’t delete that.Sherri – Only at Elliot, when we all got into an IM conversation, there would be spontaneous laughter across the cubicles. Not quiet or conducive to work at all.
Queen – 1)I didn’t have time to put in freakin apostrophe’s because I was trying to meet up with Jaime. Hello! Priorities!2) At least my texts are freakin legible and comprehensible without needing a blood test!3) You had PLENTY of time to text Hot Mom when she had sh*t going on!4) You STILL text’d me later to say “Where are you?”5) I had to point out to Friend #1 that you stole my GNO date!I think there needs to be some serious kissing of my a$$ right about now!
.75 – Did you deliberately misapply that apostrophe just to mess with 3?
Of course she did.
hahahaha I did it for emphasis for sure.
Get. An. MRI.I’m going to use that. I don’t know when, but I will.
magpie – Take my blessings.
I love the Twitter, but I also love texting. It doesn’t waste your minutes! Unlimited texting for $20-who doesn’t think that’s a steal?! Incidentally I have a 10 key phone because those others just seem like they would annoy me…
Autumn- $20 a month? No way. That makes the iPhone bill round up in a scary way, and the man pays the iPhone bill.
I Twitter. Like Kathy said above, its a good venting tool. Its pretty much the only way my blog gets updated these days. I also follow people who Tweet. Wil Wheaton is one…he’s quite prolific at it.I text. I have a Curve, and sometimes I prefer to text than actually talk to someone. Or, I may be on a call on my work phone and I’ll text a friend during the work call. We most definitely have a text plan. We just bought our daughter a text-messaging qwerty-keyboard phone and she is up to over 2000 texts just 5 days into the billing cycle.
Melissa – 2000? I think I’m at 10.