Tonight I saw a movie, a costume drama, The Duchess. I went with Friend 0.75. Two things you should know about 0.75: she’s short and she’s a lesbian. She’s a Shlesbian! And Jewish, so that means she’s a Schlesbian.
Since it was the same night as the debate, 0.75 wasn’t successful rustling up too many takers from her various sets of friends. (Whereas I said, “Are we not men? We have TiVo.”) Another of 0.75’s straight friends, Melody, was there as well. We sat on either side of 0.75 and the movie started.
[SPOILER ALERT]
There is a hot lesbian sex scene about 1/3rd of the way into this movie.
First, Keira Knightly and some actress who actually HAS boobs crawl in bed for a little girl talk.
Melody nudged .75. “Three-way,” she said, anticipating the arrival of the Duke.
“Hush,” .75 said. “No talking in the movie.”
Then Boobs started pulling off Keira’s clothing and kissing her back. Suddenly I became self-conscious. Then Boobs reached around, and, judging from Kiera’s response, stimulated Kiera’s clitoris.
Another nudge from Melody. “Two-way. My bad.”
The scene continued building while I worried about .75. She can be embarrassed very easily, to the point that she covers her ears and blushes. I thought, oh, I hope she doesn’t feel awkward, while on the screen Boobs got Keira pretty excited, then stopped abruptly.
Melody and I both nudged 0.75 simultaneously and berated Boobs for being a tease. 0.75 shushed us, but Melody continued to give a heads-up whenever a three or four way might be imminent.
Now, there were other sex scenes in the movie, but none as exciting as the lesbian scene. I wondered if my Like this:
13 responses to “The Duchess”
Actually, *I* was the one who started whispering “3-way” and YOU were the one that started the “4-way” thing!The lesbian scene was not that hot tho. WAY too short. We never got to see any boobs either.And for the record, I really just like period movies, and Kiera Knightly, so everything else was just bonus.
.75 – Not hot? What, are you hetero? You are soooooo hetero. As for period movies, I’m trying to picture you in one of those wigs that are taller than you are.
I’ve been wanting to see this because I like period films, Kiera’s ok, and I think Georgiana is an interesting lady. But NOW thanks to you I can convince my husband to take me. So thanks for this review!
When I was a senior in high school and was considering my offer from Smith College, our headmistress took me into her office, sat me down in a chair opposite her desk, and said, with great seriousness, “You know, they recruit.”I confess I was pretty disappointed that in four years there, nobody ever tried to “recruit” me.
Queen – If you want hot, you gotta watch L Word. I am SO bringing you Season 1!!!!!
Kim – Well, it wasn’t hot enough for a lesbian. I thought it was hot, though.TasterSpoon – Ha! Too funny – the old money president of Elliot went to Smith. I can’t imagine anyone “recruiting” her. Especially since it isnt a choice. (See, .75? I have learned.).75 – Gary tried to watch that once. If it didnt keep a hetero mans interest, how sexy can it be?
Queen – I’m not worried about Gary, I was talking to you. There is some drama you have to sit through…that’s probably what turned him off.
I’ll be seeing Duchess this weekend. I read the book a few years ago. Georgiana is a very interesting character. If you find this era interesting, may I suggest a really good novel “Life Mask” by Emma Donoghue. Some of the same characters as the Duchess movie. Georgiana is only a minor character in the book, and it tends more toward her political side than her sex life (although that is also mentioned). Oh, and if it helps… “Life Mask” has closeted lesbians!
.75 – He probably fast-forwarded through the drama. KC – I don’t know if it helps! That movie certainly made me glad I didn’t have children in that era, that’s for sure.
Hey- I’m disappointed… I was suppose to be known as “elody may”… remember??? Anyway, I agree it was .75 whom started the whole 3way thing… though something tells me she’d be into that! Meanwhile, I’d agree that “the Scene” was cut very short… most likely to short, but then our grandmothers/mothers that would go to this movie may be embarassed and walk out. So i feel they effectively showed how women took care of eachother in so many ways and how it didn’t matter who you are everyone has secrets. 🙂
Elody-May! Hi! Nice to see you. Yep, I’m sure they did what they had to do. But back then, they’d still have to put up with marriage. Have you gone to the Madonna concert yet? Was she heartbroken?
Madonna is so not going to be heartbroken… after all she’s going to have all of us fans keeping her spirits up this weekend… So, in answer to your question this weekend is the weekend… please get this week over with!Yes, but marriage is not what it is today… If women were smart they would have poisoned their men or put deadly insects in their pants if they were not worthy. I like the idea of i’m queen….. treat me like one! 🙂 hehehhe if it were only that easy!
Elody-May (You have been given this name now) – But then if they poisoned the men where would the money come from? Their brothers in law would cast them out.