Lauren Conrad was presenting an Emmy.
“Who the hell is she?” I asked rhetorically.
Gary said, “Oh, that’s Lauren Conrad. She’s on that ‘Hills’ show. The other stars are named Heidi and Spencer and they don’t like her.”
On further questioning, I found that Gary had never seen “The Hills.” He knew of Lauren and Spencer and Heidi through their exposure in Us Magazine. Gary loves Us. He has a subscription. He will come out of the bathroom, waving the Us and raving about the quality of the paper. He also reads Life and Style and complains about the vote tally on each respective “Who Wore It Best?” (“Look at this! Her shoes don’t even match!”) Wired Magazine comes in second to Us, but only because the print is too small.
Did the grocery store get this week’s Us before in came in our mail? Five minutes of outrage. “Subscribers should get to know about Jessica’s Pity Date before grocery shoppers! What the hell?”
The thing that gets me is that I just know Gary tells everyone that I’m the one who reads this trash. In conversation, he’s taken to quoting the New York Times. In fact, he’s replaced “I heard this thing on National Public Radio” with “I read this thing in the New York Times.”
Next time he quotes the New York Times I’m going to ask him who Jen is dating.
9 responses to “Perez Gary”
You might want to rethink that sentence about Gary coming out of the bathroom raving about the quality of the paper in that magazine. Some of us here had to use a “long drop” recently, so primitive toilet arrangements are what spring to mind.
So who is Jen dating these days? I have to say, I had hoped that John Mayer was a better person than the dog he seems to be…
I only know of the Hills because I watch the Soup. Ergo, I’ve only seen it in completely out of context “clip” form, though I suspect it’s pretty accurate to say there’s a lot of vacant stares and awkward silence.
Who’s Jen?I never forgot my father telling me about my new stepsiblings and their spouses. “Oh, that one – she’s the only one that reads the Times”.
That’s so awesome. :)I know a lot of that stuff because of the Web sites and blogs I read, but I don’t enjoy it. At this point, I wonder why I actually read some of the things I read.
Big Dot – Oh. Maybe I don’t want to go to the Outback…Becs – As reported on Chelsea Lately tonight, shes dating John Mayer again.Kathy – I confess, that’s the only place Ive ever seen the Hills, specifically that thing about someone being in Vegas. Magpie – Jen? Jen Aniston? You never saw Friends, did you!Ajooja – Because we crave drama, because reality is too easy sometimes.
“Reality is too easy sometimes.” Brilliant!And, if you went to the Outback, you could eat not only kangaroo, but emu, camel and crocodile too. I had them all on a pizza once. Didn’t taste much like that, but good for scoring points.Did you know that Thanksgiving weekend you can go see ‘Australia’ the movie? Big blockbuster by Baz Luhrman – Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman and lots of scenery, cattle, fire, floods, bombing of Darwin by the Japanese… WE in NZ have to wait till Boxing Day, sigh.
Have a look at this – http://www.firstshowing.net/2008/09/29/must-watch-second-full-trailer-for-baz-luhrmanns-australia/
Big Dot – I did love Moulin Rouge. Austrailia does sound good. And of course I had no idea the Japanese bombed Austrailia. Of course, I was puzzled at the Tower of London to see England’s penal colonies defined as “Australia and the U.S.”