We watched the debate tonight. I intended to watch it calmly and reasonably, However, we got on TiVo-time early on because Gary kept pausing the TiVo to yell at Senator McCain.
Gary started out the evening in a foul mood anyway. Thankfully he was able to redirect hs excessive anger at the pund-idiots and the Republican candidate. When Gary’s bellowing out single-minded fury the only way to calm him down it is to one-up him. He’ll sense the parody and it turns into a joke.
I paused the TiVo at the first mention by McCain of his much vaunted mavericky-ness. “Bullshit!” I roared. “Yeah, maybe you were a maverick once, but you’ve been a poodle the past eight years.”
“Fuck yeah!” Gary yelled.
“Fucking poodle.” I grumbled.
“Fucking shit-eating poodle,” Gary corrected me. (And I apologize to any of you who may have beloved shit-eating poodles.) I laughed, he laughed, then we stopped even trying to be reasonable. Later on, McCain mentioned General Petraeus. [Pause TiVo] “General Petraeus is a cocksucker!” And, really, I’m sure he isn’t, it’s just Gary was getting worked up again.
Gary can do a pretty good McCain imitation, in which he shuffles, bobs his head, and barks, “My friends.”
Then we saw the point at which McCain stood up and wandered about during Obama’s healthcare response, like Al Gore did in 2000. Then the fun began. Gary manipulated the TiVo back and forward to make it appear McCain was doing a little dance, peeking into the frame and stepping back out. Then I noticed McCain made a little upward hand gesture, which when reversed and forwarded repeatedly made him look like he was masturbating. Then I just rolled off the couch laughing.
Now, I originally wanted to watch the debate to hear views and seem reasonable and play devil’s advocate, but it just didn’t turn out that way. Pretty soon I was wishing someone would just wink at me like our Sarah Flanders of the Yukon, the VP nominee. I intended to be a good open-minded responsible citizen, but the only opening that crossed my mind was then neckline on Michelle Obama’s dress. Mrs. McCain kicked Mrs. Obama’s ass in the appropriate wardrobe department.
What was Michelle Obama wearing anyway? A red low-cut Christmas party dress with glittery holly appliques on it? Bad call.
Not that that’s going to influence my vote.
12 responses to “‘Batin!”
Hey, That One:Of course, Mrs. McCain kicked Mrs. Obama’s ass in the wardrobe department. She wore a fucking $300,000 ensemble at her husband’s nomination acceptance speech, for chrissakes. But she’s not an elitist, Obama is. No. Really. He is.
At least include a picture of the hot dress! Sheesh.I love your blog…saves me from having to watch that crap myself. I watched poker while working out instead.
Seriously, I cannot understand how the polls have this race still so close. Can’t people see and hear what I do when it comes to McCain?I had alot of humpf’s and what?s escape from my mouth. No obscenities though. Now I feel as though I missed out.Come on, the stuff about buying up the bad mortgages, didn’t McCain READ the bailout bill? That’s already included. and it DID NOT answer the man’s question about how the economy mess would affect him personally.Obama on the other hand can get to the heart of an issue or question and address it straight on.When they were discussing the McCain health insurance credit thing, I was like – So now it’s up to $5000 per person? When did that double? – Doesn’t McCain know the specifics of his own platform? Geeze.Anyway, TIVO would have been fun. Can’t we all just vote, like, tomorrow and get this over with already?
Damn! I should have Tivo’d the debate so I could have the McCain “dance” to watch. And I thought I was being oh so responsible by actually watching it live without the safety net of Tivo. Silly me. Have you read the Rolling Stone article about John McCain “the make-believe maverick”? Good stuff.When you get a chance, read about my recent politically motivated make-over. 🙂
I found your blog via Blogophraphy and I’m thoroughly enjoying it! Next time a debate is on I’m going to have to watch it your way because McCain just drives me nuts!
As if you didn’t have enough points in my book, you totally get points for the Sarah Flanders thing. That pleases me greatly.
Since everything the US does affects all of the rest of us here on Planet Earth, I reckon there’s a good argument for letting us have a vote too. Except, even the 6-week campaign for our upcoming national elections makes my brain tired – how do you guys manage to soldier on through your months and months of electioneering? PS Coming to you from somewhere else again, Queen – any guesses?
3 – I need to see that ensemble. Was it made from Yeti fur?.75 – go here: https://share.google/f8ZooNrFGpkfedrF2 Lisa Emrich – I think people sometimes say they want change and they really don’t.KC – That was great! You really look like Sarah Palin? And yes, I saw the Rolling STone article on Friend 3’s blog, pitchererror.blogspot.comFloatingprincess (Hello, Floatingprincess!) – He didn’t make me nuts 8 years ago, but it’s as if he’s a different person now.Erin – Okaly dokealy!Big Dot – Wembley! And I really envy the English and Canadians with their limited election seasons.
What I should have said was – and pardon me, but what follows is a clue – where the bloody hell am I?
Big Dot – Oh – Melbourne! At some place you dropped into between coffees. Or perhaps Perth or Sydney. But I’m leaning toward Melbourne.
Oh, you’re good! Yes, it’s Perth – or was. Now I’m in the Outback and I went swimming this morning in what are reputed to be Nicole Kidman’s fertility waters, if you’ll pardon the expression. Also, I ate kangaroo last night – lean and tender, delish.
Big Dot – I knew you must be headed to the Outback. Now I must have kangaroo.