My Granceil amazed me by extracting money out of her bra. “Where did that come from?” I would think. “She reached up to her shoulder that time. But usually she reaches into the middle.” (I think folding money was under the shoulder strap, change was in the cleavage.) I think women past childbearing age think their boobs need some purpose now that they won’t be spigotting out baby beverages.
Here are two things I have used my breasts for just this past year:
1) Cell phone holder. In the hospital I was either updating a Mom friend or relative about Mom’s condition or receiving a call from the hospice people. I tucked the cell phone in my cleavage. When I had a message, Mom would rasp: “Boobs. Flashing.” The green message light flashing against my skin did give my boobs an other-worldly glow.
2) Wii holder. I was surprised when the Wii Fit said I ran faster than Gary. Then I realized I had tucked the remote not into my pocket but into my cleavage. The extra bouncing convinced the Wii I was putting extra spring in my step. I found you can crouch on the Fit platform, jiggle your boobs up and down, and “run” really fast. No fair using your hands though. I can squat, bounce my breasts and almost outpace the Wii dog.
14 responses to “Boob Usage”
Mad skillz!
I’m surprised Gary can even move with that display going on.I use my boobs mostly to make myself look female. They also make my husband happy. If I’m napping on my back, I’ve awakened to find a cat pillowed there, paws on either side, purring — which is most disconcerting, but I deal with it.Boobs = cat pillows.
It’s amazing some of things I find in my bra at the end of the day. It’s like a treasure expedition.
Wow, I’ve never thought to use mine for anything. Clearly I am missing the boat.
I am with Shania. I put all manner of things in the sling. Hey, maybe that’s why I don’t have to carry a purse….
Ooh! Good thinking! Maybe if I shove enough stuff in there, I can upgrade to an A-cup. Meanwhile, I make do with tissues…
I like that “boobs flashing” business. What happens when the phone is on vibrate though?
When I require a bra, which is only a matter of time and calories, I shall stuff all manner of things into it.
I just recently became a bra/purse/carryall person. I mostly use it for my phone, unless I’m on a walk,(don’t want to short it out or anything!). It seems so incognito there.
.75 – If only bouncing your boobs did make you run faster in real life.Sherri – Ooo- my dog has no boob respect. Boobs = Dog springboards.Shania – Crumbs for me, mainly. And once a penny.Amy in StL – Never for anything? At all? Not even a beer holder on a hot day?Magpie – There would have been a Tacoma Narrows bridge vibration amplification effect, because I was already pretty wound up at that time.Zayrina – It’s a built in purse. But you know, there is that hazard that things can get adhered to the underboob and not come out.TasterSpoon – You are currently using two Trader Joe’s bags right? That might be too much for your cleavage. Jamon – There isn’t really a man-bra, is there? When Gary was 70 pounds heavier he might have needed one.Judith – Oh, my god. Maybe that’s what happened to Chandra Levy! Cell phone / bra electrocution.
You mean you don’t know? Some politician murdered her. Then 9/11 happened, (conveniently for the politician)and no one ever thought of her again. Until today.
Judith – Neh. Tripped on her scarf. It was definitive.
You’re being sarcastic… I’m not motivated enough to follow a daily routine. Nevertheless, I love the Hula Hoop game. It’s great fun !
Sudoku Print Puzzles – are you high? What are you talking about? What Hula Hoop game? Is there a sudoku Hula Hoop game, or are we talking about the Wii? And how can anyone play sudoku? It’s math, isn’t it? ANSWER ME!