Conversation while ordering Chinese Delivery for Chinese New Year lunch:
Me: I want to get Special Fried Rice, but I can’t. My system doesn’t like it any more.
Friend #3: What do you want then?
Me: The Sweet and Sour Pork lunch special.
Friend #3: White Rice or Fried Rice?
Me: (sub-second pause) Fried Rice.
Friend #3: You’re killing me.
Me: No, it’s the Special Fried Rice I have a problem with. That’s just regular Fried Rice.
Friend #3: Egg Drop Soup or can of soda?
Me: I would have the Soup but I’m allergic to raw eggs.
Friend #3: Give me a break. Egg Drop Soup is fully cooked.
Me: Yeah, as fully cooked as tepid chicken broth can cook an egg.
Friend #3: It is fully. Cooked.
Me: My colon would disagree with you.
Friend #3: Your colon is full of shit.
9 responses to “Productivity Plummets”
Not to put too fine a point on it, but (bearing in mind that we have New Guy within earshot and I didn’t want to create another CFG) I actually said “Your colon is full of *crap*.”
Thanks to the miracle of the Internet, these stories can not only live on and be enjoyed by others, but they can be CORRECTED, too. ;)Either way, it’s funny.
I must ask what is in the “special fried rice” and your friend is right. Egg drop soup is fully cooked, otherwise you wouldn’t see the egg at all. It would just be a big bowl of snot.
MMMM. Big bowl of snot. Yummy.I was there. Friend # 3 definitely said “crap.” It was funny too.
Snot soup. Thanks for that visual.
Love special fried rice. I’m sorry you can’t partake. 🙁
Friend #3 – Feh – New Guy is a thorn in my side.wyo – Neh – “crap” is funnier. The “K” sound is funny, they say.Candy – Well, I looked photos because EDS from this place does look like Snot Soup. It does not look like Google Images EDS. (And I think that Snot Soup image is perfect).Hot Mom – Well, damn. I;m hearing things again.Tammy – Snot soup with a side of phlegm, please.Ajooja – It’s just the SFR from the Mexican/Chinese place by work. And only since I started the experimental drug. Seriously.
God, I miss you guys. I haven’t had an unproductive day in months. Or Chinese.
Caroline – Aw. We miss you…