I heard that a speaker at a medical school orientation once said, “Are
you here to cure cancer? Stop looking for a cure. Look for better
treatments, not a cure, because you will almost never cure anyone of
anything in your entire medical career.”
Well, I have been cured. I have not felt well of late. Light headed, woozy, like the late stages of grain poisoning, call it what you will. Then suddenly, the miraculous cure.
I slept on my left side.
Everyone, no matter what ails you, I implore you to sleep on your left side. Since I don’t really know has been wrong with me since … oh …. January 2, there may be only a strong psychological advantage to sleeping on your left. I’ve been told it’s good for pregnancy and high blood pressure. I think we need to try out its placebo effect to see if perhaps it will cure everything. Seriously, can you think of any disease that can be cured?
That’s what’s so intriguing about stem cells – if they grow you a whole new immune system, do you still have an autoimmune disorder? If you get a new spine, and you are no longer paralyzed, I suppose you are cured. What would that mean if there was a universal cure of stem cells followed by sleeping on your left side? I suppose Steve and his guide dog would slow down. I wouldn’t be married to Gary anymore, because I’d have killed him. He doesn’t suspect, but I know the jury would put me away for sure if I killed my “epileptic” husband. If he were cured of epilepsy, I might be tempted.
Of course, this isn’t my problem; I’m looking for treatments, not cures. Of course, you know who else has MS. That would be Mrs. Mitt Romney. Who knows how this will influence Mitt to vote on stem cells. Sure it might cure his wife, but then, there’s always a down side.
7 responses to “The Cure”
I spent most of the 45 hours in the hospital before my daughter was born on my left side. I’m a believer.
Hrm. Going to have to try that. Particularly the sleep part. Maybe I’ll live blog it.
I naturally sleep on my left side, and have woken up with some kind of sciatica-like pain for the past two days. I’ll be the control and try sleeping on my right.
HA! I can tell you from personal experience that sleeping on the left side hastens eminent death. Ask any nurse with experience. You carefully turn them rideside, back, rightside, back all night till near the end of the shift, then you turn them on the left side. Turn them too quick and you will be filling out the paperwork. Hey I saw a great tee shirt, it said, “I am a nurse, I am here to save your ass not kiss it!”. Gotta have it.
I actually crave sleeping on my left side…even this morning I work up and that is where I was. 🙂
I’m addicted to a salad dressing called Garlic Expressions. I try not to sleep on my left side because I’m afraid of breathing garlic breath on my husband all night. Then he’ll tell everyone.Say, Queen, are you alright?
Caroline – Do you have to wear a water wing on one arm to prevent you from rolling over?Katie – Snort. I suppose since the operation you have to pick a side.Kathy – Okay, but be sure you don’t do the dread right-back-right-back-left mambo Zayrina cautions against.Zayrina – Ha! It reminds me of my friend the ICU nurse who passed a sickly patient off in the hallway to another nurse so he wouldn’t die on her watch. It seems grim, but practical.Amy K – It seems Mom would sleep on her left side, and after a sleep study her pulmonologist told her to stop it.Twofer – Yep, I’m fine now that I sleep on my left side. I think there might be some connection to these placebos I’ve been taking. I’m so suggestible.