I want to preface this by saying I pine to belong to a religion that has religious scholars. My nephew grew up having long debates with Muslim elders. I know Jesuits have a heritage of thinking about religion. It seems I keep landing in religions that manipulate your emotions and call your heartstrings your soul. God forbid you analyze any of the saints’ words and evaluate which are valid and which aren’t.
That said, I would like to take up a religious debate from Judaism: Which is better, to take a dead man’s shoes and throw them away separately so no one walks in the shoes of the dead, or to give them to the poor? (Or, alternatively, to sell them to fashion-backward and shoe-stingy me.)
This question is covered in depth at this web site, titled “The Custom of Discarding the Shoes of the
Deceased.” It really is cool, because they think about the question. They also
PROVE MY FRIEND MARCIA WRONG (see here)
…but that’s just a bonus. Really, can you picture your minister considering the ethics of this question, or would he just let the church congregation judge it out? I recall there were debates in my former church about the ethics of Southern Baptists working for the Big Brewery In Town, or if one should tithe before or after taxes. I can’t picture my pastor analyzing the varying points of view; in fact, I can’t imagine him going past the first point of view that hit his gut. Because hey, if it isn’t white, it must be black.
I think the trick is choosing a religion that doesn’t look at just one text as sacred and inspired by God. Catholics have the Apocrypha to open their minds. My nephew explains that Shia or Sunni disagree on what are considered the inspired teachings, and which teachings are wisdom. I think if I ever pick a religion it would need to be one that would think and consider the pros and cons of a) giving away shoes b) cutting up shoes c) selling shoes and giving the money to the poor and d) jeez, lighten up about the shoes already.
That’s what I want. A religion that prefers the process of uncovering the answer, not one that thinks it knows the answer.
7 responses to “In Which We Smugly Lord It Over One of Our Dear Friends”
Good luck with that. Personally, I would like to find a religion that isn’t always hitting me up for money. (I don’t have any. I am one of the poor. Minister to me, dammit!)Oh, and I so totally understand the used shoe thing. I feel no qualms at all in buying sweaters, jeans, trousers, blouses at Goodwill or the thrift store, but the shoes just freak me out. For some reason, it’s like buying used underwear. Ick ick ick. No shoes of the dead on these 9.5 lovelies!
Yet I, who won’t touch a public bathroom faucet with the naked hand, and who can manage to hover my 300lb. ass over a public toilet so as not to touch, will wear a used shoe.We are all odd little monkies, aren’t we?
Sounds like a good religion to wish for.
*snort* at Zayrina’s hovering.I don’t have anything relevant to say, your blue majestiness, but I did want to thank you for teaching me how to say sue-kawt and thereby not embarrassing myself at work.
I concede you are correct and this practice is biblically antithetical, but you must admit this was a notion I came to honestly. I said “it MIGHT be down to a family superstition”. Clearly, the origin of this is beyond my family. Unless my ancestors are those named in this link to whom this practice is attributed. Though I won’t go the way of Alex Haley to find out.Well, Yom Kippur (pronounced YOM kip-POOR) just passed so you’re going to have to wait until next year for any atonement. In the meantime: BITE. ME.
Becs – But, you are the poor person who would receive the mitzvah! You could get ninety-percent off shoes! Buy the Shoes of the Dead.Zayrina – See, I am so relieved you are with me on this. You, my germ expert.Sue – I think it’s out there.Jammies – Queen of the Smurfs sayeth you are welcome.Friend #3 – Have you forgotten the ear incident? I really will bite you. AND still demand atonement next year.
Truly. I think anything is out there if you look hard enough! 😉