I’m not a shoe diva. (Now, socks, that’s another story.) I can’t stand spending a lot for shoes. (Again, socks, another set of ethics applies.) For quite a long time I owned one pair of black shoes, one pair of blue, one pair or brown, and — done! Shoes? Check! Catherine the Red eventually persuaded me to expand my shoe wardrobe, and I have three pair of black shoes right now. Crazy excess!
I just think there are reasonably-priced things to throw money at (iTunes and socks), and absurdly overpriced things to save money on (lamps and shoes). And, if I find a style of shoes I like, I buy them in every available color.
This explains why I have twelve pair of Clarks slides in my closet. I briefly threw a pair of pointy-toed non-Clarks in the mix, but I only wear them if I’m around my style-conscious niece. I’m not a slave to fashion. In fact, fashion is my bitch and she can suck my toes.
Now, if you are fashion’s bitch, and you are screaming in horror when I say “Clarks,” just pretend I’m talking about Manolo Blahniks. Okay? Now we can move on.
Even if I shop at Fashion Shoe Carnival Funhouse (I just lost the coasts; I can tell), Clarks still cost more than I think a shoe should cost. A lamp should cost $20. A shoe should cost $40. Needless to say, I had to find a way to economize on shoes.
This is where eBay comes in. If you search eBay by maker (Clarks), style (slides) and size (8) you will see a) a number of shoes on sale by shoe re-sellers, and b) shoes sold by individuals. The independent shoes are where you get your deals. Clarks? Five bucks, ten with shipping. Perfectly good shoes, except they make you dance relentlessly, because they are cursed Shoes Of The Dead.
I alway imagine my eBay shoes are being sold by an elderly gentleman who has lost his wife, who was young-at-heart but old-at-feet. He can’t bear to see her shoes in the closet, so he sells them to anonymous me on eBay. I always try to leave some type of positive feedback to assure the seller the shoes have found a good home.
I thought of this today while in the elevator with the usual Gang O’ Four Friends (#2-4). Another woman came in and her shoes were complimented. “I got them at a garage sale!” she whispered conspiratorially.
“SHOES OF THE DEAD!” I screamed right back at her. In retrospect, this may have seemed abrupt. At any rate, she gave me a high-five when I confessed my eBay habit.
I don’t know why people think this is so odd. It isn’t like I’m buying Bras of the Dead. (Those would make ones breasts heave relentlessly, I suppose, but only at men the former wearer would find attractive.) Marcia reports there’s a superstition about wearing a dead man’s shoes. Actually, she reported it as the Law of Moses, but I Googled her down to family superstition.
Five bucks, ten with shipping. Go see for yourself. These shoes are going for ten bucks right now.
12 responses to “The Red Clarks”
I hope you don’t kick me off your blog for this but; ONLY CRAZY PEOPLE BUY SHOES WITH LITTLE POINTY TOES. How the hades can anyone, sane that is, stand to wear those things? They are absolutely masochistic. They aren’t shaped like human feet. Elf feet maybe, but not human ones.Do you buy them several sizes too big so that the pointy part does not actually constrict your toes? I mean, I have seen your feet, or feet that you claim are yours. They are relatively normal looking.Maybe that’s it, several sizes too big, yeah, that might be the ticket. Do they make them in size 14? (In which case the drag queens buy them up.)
Here’s what sensible-on-your-feet-for-16 hours -people wear: http://www.tafford.com/detail.htm?pkey=4796
Zayrina – No! No! Don’t nurses wear Clarks?Here they are:http://mocklog.typepad.com/photos/muster/clarks.jpgReally, click it. You know how I am about your approval, Zayrina. (Re: Hand-washing and paper towels.) I swear, I only have two or three pairs of pointies.
Ok, sanity reigns. Those are sensible shoes.You have my approval. 😛
Bite my shorts! I said it MIGHT be down to a family superstition, but I seriously doubt it. The ritual is to throw out one of the shoes in a pair, then some time later, throw out the other. That way no one can walk in the shoes of the deceased.I’ll find it and present it to you by Suck-it.
I’m supposed to be a thrift-store diva, but I’ll admit I have a real aversion to buying someone’s pre-owned shoes. (Okay, the ten dollar Manolos almost sway me. Rich women’s feet don’t get stinky, right?)Re: pointy-toed shoesThey’re actually a bit more comfortable than they look. Your toes don’t actually smash into the pointy part; it extents past the toes.
But Kathy, there are women, nutty women, who go and have their feet surgically altered to fit in pointy toed-shoes.I recently was in the Birkenstock store (I don’t think a pointy-toed Birkenstock exists) buying shoes for John. I plunked down $160 for his pair, and I mentioned the surgery to the shoe sales lady. She said, ” We get a lot of those women after surgery needing our help.”Here is what I will be looking to buy this weekend: http://www.zcoil.com/products_styles.htmlI think wearing them would make me feel like Tigger. *boingaboingaboinga!*Obviously I am not fashion’s slave.
Oh, and spraying the used shoe with some Lysol, inside of course, ought to take care os stinky foot germs.If she buys used panties she looses me in her corner though…:P
I fear I will never be able to buy garage sale or e-bay shoes ever again. Shoes of dead people creep me out man.
Zombies will appear at your door wanting their shoes back.
I call those pointy-toed shoes “witch shoes”… Shoes of the dead, huh? Aren’t you afraid of toe crusties?
Zayrina – Yeah, but let’s discuss this: “I mean, I have seen your feet, or feet that you claim are yours. They are relatively normal looking.” Several hundred toe porn enthusiasts would disagree!Friend #3 – You bring it, I serve it right back. Prepare for a post.Kathy – I agree with the pointy toe part. My pointy toe shoes don’t pinch, on the other hand I look a little elfen (elven?)Zayrina, Zayrina – Well, I think those ladies are too vain to buy the extra long pointy shoes because they do make your feet look enormous. And, why do we assume there are more bacteria on feet than on moister parts of the body? I’m talking armpits. Almost anyone would buy a strangers jacket. That will get far more sweat than feet.And I did lysol them, but frankly I haven’t since my own feet have been in them.Marriage-101 – Maybe it’s just shoes of them impulsive. They saw, they bought, they never did a test walk.Zayrina – Oh, well, that’s why the zombies have come by. I just chased them off. now I feel bad…sue – Toe crusties? Sue …. what is going on with your toes? I know about toe jam footballs but not crusties.