Gary and I were cuddling earlier tonight. I’m a quiet cuddler. Gary likes to take cuddle time and ruin it by asking questions like, “If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?” And I think, I’d be a quiet tree. I’d be a tree that falls on you and knocks you unconscious so I can get some peace.
Tonight’s question was “If you weren’t a programmer, what would you do for a living?” I reached into my ass and the first thing I pulled out was “gym teacher.”
“Oh, you would be an awful gym teacher!” Gary sneered.
“So, is this the game? You ask a pointless speculative question and ridicule my answer?”
“Yes. Pick something else.”
“Um…I’d be a baker. I’d open a tea shop.”
“Really? You wouldn’t want to be a doctor?”
“So, you’re pressuring me to be an imaginary doctor.”
“Well, I just thought that since you want me to buy human remains you can use to decorate the bathroom that ‘doctor’ would be a good fit.
“No. Now I’m committed to the tea shoppe. But, maybe I’ll decorate it with human remains.”
“What would you call it?”
We settled on The Human Remains of the Day Tea Shoppe. It would be lovely. We’d use bone china.
8 responses to “If I Were a Tree”
I’ve always said I want to review hotels and restaurants for AAA so I could get paid to travel and eat out. Guess what job is currently listed on Monster? I fear the backroad Motel 6’s in nowhere Ohio, plus the 250 nights a year on the road aren’t palatable. I wonder how many years you have to put in before you get the Carribean assignemnts.
I salute your tea shoppe concept!
“bone china”… *giggle*
groan…….
Love it.
Caroline – What are you doing looking at Monster? Stop that!Tracy27 – At ease, soldier.sue – There is a line in a Squirrel Nut Zippers song, “Teeth are extruded and bones are ground, and made into cakes which are passed around.” Those would be good cakes to serve.judith – Groan? I am totally serious. Autumn – I expect you at the grand opening. Ha! Human Remains Grand Opening! Gross!
You might recall that my husband is unemployed. I spend more time job hunting (for him) than relaxing at home these days.
Caroline – Dang! I forgot he was unemployed, since you mention it so rarely.