Our cube at work is lucky enough to be equipped with a Manbitch. One day, Robin and I were working over the weekend, and Robin said:
“I want lunch, but I don’t want to go out and get it.”
Manbitch said, “What do you want? I’ll go get it for you.”
Robin and I shared a glance. “Um…what if I want a salad from Subway?” (Obviously, this was Robin.) “You’d have to get in your car.”
“Okay,” he shrugged.
“Really? You would get in your car and go get lunch?”
“Sure.”
“And I want you to pay for it,” Robin escalated right up there.
“”Kay.”
And he did! And he did it right AND he never complained or expected compensation.
“Huh,” you say, “isn’t Robin also known as Hot Young Co-worker? And couldn’t that be why Manbitch is so agreeable?” I would be right there with you, sister, but one day I was at work early (that is, before 10 am) and I sighed, “You know what are good? Those Gooey Butter Danishes from the Bread Company.”
I didn’t even see Manbitch leave, but minutes later I looked down and there was a Danish smiling up at me by my elbow.
Manbitch is going through a hard time lately, and I’ve been thinking about him. He showed up at work Friday with four boxes of garlic bread from pizza hut, the type you can’t order on-line. He might have done it just to stuff something in Robin’s mouth to keep her quiet because as you all know she programs like Maria Sharapova plays tennis. (“Unh! Uhnh! Huuh!”)
At any rate, I need to start keeping a journal of what Manbitch likes to eat and just have it magically land on his desk every few days. Not every cube is lucky enough to have a Manbitch, and we want to keep ours.
14 responses to “Manbitch”
Alas, I have no Manbitch at Unnamed Co. Long ago and far away, my Manbitch was Floyd, who was my age but wonderfully old-fashioned in his ways. Whenever he went down to the Coke machine, he’d pop into my cube and say, “Would you care for a b-b-beverage?” And he would then deliver, free of charge. I miss Floyd.
I’d call that special work compensation. I’m glad you are well versed in the care and feeding of Manbitch! Smart woman!Since I work at the same place as my husband, he sorta provides those services for me, but I dasn’t call him “Manbitch”. “Cabanaboy” is the furthest I may go.
I agree, we need to take care of our Manbitch during these times. If he will let us…
Unh!
Not only do I automatically adore your manbitch, but the fact that you want to reciprocate is so incredibly sweet it hurts. I hope things turn around for MB!
AW! He sounds really sweet. Remember how we discussed that book The Five Love Languages a million years ago? Perhaps manbitching is his Love Language! Hee.
Becs – Every office needs a Floyd. If you ever get an assistant, make him an honorary Manbitch.Sherri – Oh, my God. The prospect of working with a husband is terrifying to me. Mine would be dead. You are much more woman that I could ever hope to be.Robin – I am baking cookies as I type.Ariel – Yeah, I think Manbitch will be fine in a little while. We thought briefly about inviting him to Girl’s Night Out, but thought better of it.Erin G – Yes! Acts of Service! And that is the Love Language I answer to. But what is his? Hmmm. I’ll have to ask.
I have to add my own Manbitch testimonial. As everyone within a 5 cubicle radius knows, I have sinus issues. Once he overheard me complain of my lack of Kleenex (and everyone else’s lack of Kleenex due to my stealing them) and when I came out of a meeting, there was an overpriced box from the gum store waiting on my desk. I put it in my wonderful Kleenex box cover that Robin so thoughtfully obtained for me.Wow, I have really great co-workers.
I hesitate to call my co-worker a manbitch, but he does get me coffee from Starbucks whenever he has to go anywhere near it. It doesn’t happen often, but I’m always happy when it does. Oh, and another co-worker always brings me the newest RFT each week (you’d think hubby would bring me one since HE WORKS THERE, but he never does).
Caroline – Yes! You do have great co-workers. And you don’t even have the benefit of Caroline the co-worker who goes out and picks up lunch for everyone.KC – Maybe your husband just doesn’t like bringing his work home. Still, not to bring you a free paper when he works right there -that is cold.
That’s it exactly! After he has been over every inch of the paper getting it ready, he doesn’t even think about bringing it home. After all, he’s seen it through the whole process and it’s time to think about the next issue.
I miss Robin. Unh!
I could use a Starbucks right now.
KC – So. does he still work for the RFT? It has been a while. For some reason my friends wasted a GNO I didn’t attend by commenting on old blog posts.Mershy – Me too.mershy – you do seem drunk.