The Decline of Civilization

Every time I have a party there is a time during which I re-prioritize. Usually the day before I think, “I don’t need to hand-embroider a new quilt. The old one will do fine.” That frees up a few good mental hours and relaxes me.

This time, though, I’m savaging the Tea Party 2006 Task List. For example, I just said to myself, “I don’t need to clot cream this year. Only two people eat the clotted cream. No one will miss it.” You don’t know, but this is heresy. And do you think you’ll be eating Crab Louis this year out of hand-sculpted cucumber cups? No you will not. Not this year. That was the plan, but then The Croup came and settled on the land of the Pharaohs.

Here are some of the many things that will NOT be done this year for tea: 1. Hang Wreath, 2. hang lights, 3. Make any acknowledgment of Jesus 4. Put out red carpet 5. Iron napkins 6. Vacuum steps 7. Polish silver. Yep, tea will be on rumpled linen and shabby silver as I cough consumptively into a napkin.

However, there will still be tea, at least as long as there is England, and as long as there are shops that sell loose tea. I thought seriously about canceling tea this year but I think I will carry on.

One year I did cancel a party, not a tea party but a psychic party, and it was canceled not on account of illness but on account on mice. A psychic was scheduled to come to the house and give readings. However, the week before the Psychic Party a mouse greeted me from my sock drawer. Three weeks amd thirty mouse corpses later, including, may I say: a mousie sont enormous testicules? there was finally a Psychic party.

This year may be the one when I order Imos Pizza. but there will be Tea.