I was chatting with the Starbuck’s barista by work and she mentioned she was originally from Vancouver.
I wondered, Hmm, perhaps she’s that nutty Canadian who left the graffiti in the 3rd floor office bathroom. A few years ago, someone left a paragraph’s worth of ramblings on the wall that went along the lines of:
“I’m visiting Saint Louis from Canada, and it amazes me how rude people are here. People say it’s just a difference in culture, but I think it’s like a mental illness.”
I’ve heard more than once that Americans seem rude to Canadians. I know from experience I seem rude to Londoners, unless I preface every sentence with “I’m terribly sorry.” So, I asked her if Saint Louisans seem rude to her.
“Oh, no,” she said politely, “Not at all.”
My face answered, “Cut the crap.”
“Not here in Saint Louis, anyway. I understand New York is different.”
I waited.
“Oh, well there is this one thing. I’d always learn that when you say ‘Thank You,’ the correct response – “
“OH MY GAWD!” I interrupted rudely, “I KNOW! You’re welcome. Not ‘Mmm-hmm!’”
“Yes!”
“And it always sounds to me like: ‘Thank you’, ‘Mmm-hm, you should be thanking me.’”
“Exactly,” she cried, “Like ‘What took you so long to thank me?’”
I didn’t tell her this, but I always assumed the people who didn’t say ‘You’re Welcome,’ were from the South, because the first time I heard the “Thank You,” “Mmm-hmm” interchange was in Memphis.
So it makes me wonder, do people become more polite the further they are from the equator? Are North Canadians more polite than, say, Torontonians? Are Venezuelians more polite than Argentinians? I know the incidence of MS increases the further you get from the equator. Perhaps they are related.
11 responses to “Thank You”
I haven’t traveled too far in the US,- LA, San Diego, Ny and Atlanta and Seattle too (but that hardly counts when I am in Vancouver!)…I don’t necessarily notice rudeness..but I notice a real feel of a sort of unspoken class system and the more obvious the break between classes…say by skin colour, for example, the bigger the chips on shoulders and the worse the customer service is.The service in Atlanta was awful.I have friends from St. Louis though and they are the politest people I have met!Vancouver is actually a rude city. People don’t say thank you enough. Don’t seem to be aware of their surroundings…very self centred.
I think Toronto men are rude with a capital ASSHOLE.MmmmmmHmmmmm.
New York City puts on it’s “best face” only for disasters like power outtages, strikes, blizzards and bombings. Why can’t we manage to be sweet to each other every day, then? I have no earthly idea! One of my co-workers actually stopped her superior in his tracks this week by flat out declaring in her lilting North Carolina drawl: “You are being so mean right now! Begging you pardon, sir, but what’s your PROBLEM?” (Incidentally, she does “Mmmmhmmm” her thank you replies — not to strangers, just to familiars. and yes….come to think of it they do sound a little like “That’s raight, you SHOULD thank me, giiiirrrl.” — but it’s adorable. She also says ‘With all due respect” before taking someone down a peg — which is AWESOME in a staff mtg.)
CC – Thank you for saying kind things about Saint Louisans. Melati – Expound, please.Erin – I taught a class in New York, and when I mentioned to them that I wasn’t seeing the fabled NY rudeness, they all shrieked, “Didn’t you NOTICE when that person barged in and asked one of your students a question? No excuse me, no hello, no goodbye?” Well, they seemed in a hurry.
I don’t see the big deal about mmhmm-ing a you’re welcome. I do it all the time I realize when I stop and think about it. It doesn’t mean I think you should be thanking me, it simply means you’re welcome. It’s an acknowledgment. What is the big deal? Why are we reading rudeness into something so common and so not rude? I bet if you asked the mmhmm-er he/she would be surprised you were offended.
I’ve never encountered the “mmm-mmmm” response. Interesting. Maybe I need to get out more.
They totally didn’t succumb to the charms of one Sweta and one Melati.When we flirt, men usually stand up and listen! But not Toronto men. They just borrow cigarettes and roll their eyes. and not wish Sweta a happy birthday.
Uh oh. I’m a flagrant mmm-hmmer. I feel like when I say a full on “you’re welcome,” it’s like acknowledging that I’ve bestowed some great favor, whereas “mmm-hmm” is meant to convey a milder, “oh, it doesn’t even warrant a thank you.” Maybe I’ll swap over to the “Oh no no no no – thank YOU!!”I was with an English friend in the U.K. and she was taken aback at my rudeness – because I didn’t make small talk with the guy at the 1-hour photo place before handing him the receipt for my prints. Apparently the equivalent of “please” there is something along the lines of “Bit of a snap in the air, I dare say!” “Rather!” and five more minutes of similar.
Aha! The Mmm-hmm question answered. Thanks, Squisita. I only get the hang of England when I realized what sounds rude and sarcastic to me “Oh, if you don’t mind TOO dreadfully, might you please bring yourself to …” (etc.) sounds polite over there, while what’s polite here sounds rude there.
A guy in NY said to me ‘NAW WHUT AM SAYIN’ and I honestly had to answer that I didn’t have a bloody clue.And in Scotland ‘FUK YUUUUUU’ is a sign of endearment.
AW! Fuk yuuuuuuu, CC.