When we went out for our spa day, Arzaana-fay and I had a Therapeutic Procedure done to our faces.
(I would call it by its common name, “f*c**l,” but I already have enough hits on this blog by people looking for invasive things to do to their husband’s lower gastrointestinal tracts. Actually, the international fans of FHR don’t bother me. You know what else doesn’t bother me? My bare toes are right there for the gratification of those inclined to look up “toes.jpg” on Google Images. Have at it, toe fetishists from France and Germany. Knock yourselves out.)
So, I’ve never had a Face Procedure before. I was surprised. I was expecting the mask, and the massage, and steam. I was relaxed. However, at one point the woman squeezed at my nose.
“What the hell?” I thought. Then she went after my cheek! I realized she was … hmmm … extruding blemishes out of my face. This was ironic since I had scrutinized my face that morning and felt it was blemish-free. Then she went for my ear.
She said, “Looks like there’s a blackhead inside your ear.”
“I am surprised.” I said. “I was not expecting this.”
“Really?” she asked, “That’s the point of a [Therapeutic Face Procedure]. We prepare your skin, we open your pores, then we clean them out.”
Is this really what I should have been expecting? Arzaana-fay got the same treatment. I want confirmation that this is the drill. My face looks worse after my faci — procedure. My pores are open and clean, but also twice their usual size. And my face is blotchy. I can’t imagine Angelina Jolie having this done on Oscar afternoon.
Let me know.
5 responses to “In Which a Beauty Procedure I Shall Not Name is Done to My Face”
Oh, yes, the EXTRACTIONS. Easily the most uncomfortable part of the Therapeutic Face Procedure. I don’t mind them all that much, prolly because I’ve grown used to them, but they *do* hurt sometimes and I do have to brace myself if my Therapeutic Face Procedure Person is practically pushing her hands right through my face.They suck, but take comfort in knowing that your pores are now squeaky clean.
I have piss-poor skin thanks to my dad’s side of the family and I am veryveryvery well acquainted with the “extraction”.So usually I specify before I have a facial whether I want a relaxtion facial or a cleansing facial.Once I actually feel alseep and woke myself up snoring during a relaxtion facial. At the spa at the D.C. Mandarin Oriental.I’m such a pig.
Wether or not extractions occur generally depend on your specifications for your Procedure, the kind of Procedure you are recieving and the person performing said Procedure.I usually ask for extraction to occur in the beginning, point them out myself, then settle in for a great relaxing experience. Love the Prodecure!
oops..forgot to put my name to the last post.
Well, thank God, now I know. Actually, I was one of those people who was warned in Health class never to do f*c*ial self-extractions (loving this new term) because somehow it could release toxins into your brain and you might die. So it’s nice to know the blood (or whatever) would be on someone else’s hands. And Catherine the Red, that’s where you get your perfect skin!