War of the Words, Part the First

Gary and I have the typical bets over trivia (“She looks like Audrey Hepburn in Gigi.” “Audrey Hepburn wasn’t in Gigi.” “I bet you!”). And the pinkie finger is flexed and the challenge is met and the Internet is searched. And I discover no, it was Leslie Caron in Gigi. And I am made to pay.

However, if the bet is over words, Gary pays, or at least he should. In the last year there have been three epic battles over words, and in almost all cases Gary was wrong but won on a technicality. The delight of a war of words with Gary is the more you argue with him, the more convinced he is that he is right.
———————————-

For example, earlier this year we were discussing Angelina Jolie’s baby and the subject of his hairstyle came up. He called little Maddox’s hairstyle a “FauxMo.”

“FauxHawk” I corrected him.
“No, it’s FauxMo.”
“I am sure the term is FauxHawk.”
“It isn’t! FauxMO! FAUXMO!” he was bellowing as we pulled up to the Starbucks Drive-thru.
“Hi, Gary and Ellen!” said the Drive-thru. “Haven’t I already seen you twice today?”
We ordered and continued debating as we waited.

“You’re thinking of Mo-fo. The hairstyle still isn’t a FauxMo, it’s a FauxHawk,” I explained patiently.
“I will bet you!!” (Pinky shake) However, instead of going to the Internet, we decided Starbucks girl would make the final call. She was very definite.

“That would be FauxHawk,” she said confidently.
“Yesssss!” I cackled as I did the obligatory victory dance.

But, did I specify the decision of the Starbucks judge was final? No. Gary contested the judgment when we got home and found a definition for FauxMo that matches his, even though it is the fourth on the list. So, as it turned out, I technically lost. I lost this round. However, tune in tomorrow.