Category: In Which We Mock Ourselves

First off, the weather is romantic. It’s my favorite type of day: soft and rainy. Rained all day, in fact, so I cannot do my gardening tasks. And what do you do on a rainy day but stay inside and sip tea? BUT YOU CAN’T BECAUSE YOU HAVE FOOLISHLY DECIDED TO STRAIGHTEN YOUR TEETH YOU…

Technology has come to my aid in the last few days. My car was at a parking meter. I almost didn’t park there because I didn’t have any change. Because it’s the 1960s in my head, I suppose. Luckily I realized I could probably use a card. Then, I walked two blocks and thought, “Did…

Friend #3 groused that I was skipping the impending music trivia night in favor of my previous engagement to watch The Magic Flute. ”Like you can’t watch Mozart on YouTube,” she complained. “You have to go to the opera.” ”Well actually,” I said, because all the most insufferable sentences start with that, “Opera season is…

I always thought Mom was very against a divorce from Jerry. The narrative I heard was that she visited Saint Louis, then met up with my (step)Dad again, and henceforth was heartily pro-divorce. Well, the new letters have revealed that Mom filed for divorce from my father Jerry six months before visiting Saint Louis. That…

This is a Facebook ad for a tiered chiffon skirt from H&M. “That’s a man modeling that skirt,” I thought, and it might be. H&M has started hiring trans people to model clothing. I love the inclusion, I do. But wasn’t it bad enough that I had to look as good as a model to…

Friend #3 is the only one of the Numbered Friends still at TeddyJ. And even that will not last for long: today was the first of her two (two!) two retirement parties. It was well attended by thirty coworkers from the last 18 years, and they all went around and shared stories of her generosity…

I saw a man in a hat recently. At work. The idea. Brazenly wearing a hat in mixed company at work. And not a sedate and modest hat, like a bowler, or a deerstalker. No. The man was wearing the most provocative of all hats. A fedora. At. Work. Here I am, stitching up necklines…

There was a call today for citizens to boycott work, school, shopping, etc. to protest I.C.E. (”Immigration and Customs Enforcement” emphasis on “FORCE”). I did boycott all these things today. What I did not boycott was my bathroom, because what actually took me out all day was an awful, awful stomachache. I am running the…

I was gutted to hear that Roomba’s parent company, iRobot, is going into bankruptcy. Mom and I were both early Roomba adopters. I still have the early virtual “walls” from my first one. I currently have \ a heavy-duty basement Roomba, a pet model ground floor Roomba, and a mopping “Scooba”. I know there are…

I was in bed at nine o’clock last night when I realized I had forgotten to go to the dentist. I was supposed to have contacted him sometime during the day — way before nine o’clock at night — because I’d had some dental work, and one element of it had to be removed. He…