Category: In Which We Mock Our Illness

I actually got my MRI tonight (at seven POST meridian, thank you) and I am sure it will now sit on the doctor’s desk while he takes a month-long vacation. Seriously, his vacation starts Friday. As I slid into the machine, I thought two things: “MY GOD how fat am I? I don’t remember my…

Monday – I get lucky this weekend wake up with a bladder infection. After wasting forty-five minutes at the Primary doctors office, I find they have changed the rules and now instead of just looking at my urine they want to look at me. This means I have to make an appointment. I leave the…

A little math for you: A one month supply of my anti-MS drug, full price: $1,600.00 (Or One THOUSAND six hundred dollars and 00 cents, to be exact.)(Per shot, thats $106.666666666666666666666666666666666667, to be exact)My insurance pays 75%! Woo hooo! Cutting the price down to a mere: $400.00 a month. Of course, I always listen to…

I get dibs on a Clone Soldier: https://www.rutgers.edu/news/stem-cells-amniotic-fluid-rutgers-expert

Doctors are mean. They are tag-teaming me and playing mind games. I have to start with an update. I’ve gained back half of what I lost on the (almost) year-long Jenny The Bitch Whore Craig diet. The good news is that I didn’t lose that much, so I’ve only gained back about seven pounds. So,…

Often, I put one song on repeat so it etches itself into my brain. I can then sing lustily and loudly in the car and be assured I won’t mangle the words, at any rate. Thursday’s song for the day? Get in Line. And can you think of a better song to belt in the…

What struck me as I had my six-month checkup with the neurologist is how well we communicate. In particular, we have a fine non-verbal communication. I am always called on the carpet for my pointed non-verbals. In my first job my boss pulled me aside to suggest I stop being so rude to Maria. “But…

Tomorrow when I have my 6-month checkup with the neurologist, he will ask if I have had any MS symptoms. I will have to tell him Marcia has been counting every time I choke at work (and thank you, Marcia). (I need a ‘sincere’ emoticon so people know when I’m not being sarcastic.) Oh, and…

I thought this regression into adolescence was going to stop, but now it appears I’m no longer fourteen; I am ten. I was sitting with Gary, watching a duo play drums and electric guitar on tv. “Hey,” I said, “I could learn to play the guitar. You could play the drums, and I could play…

When you get MS, you prepare yourself for the typical MS symptoms. Not that I’m disappointed, but I’ve had MS for almost ten years now and there has been no disability. (And I’m all prepared!) Instead, I am plagued by the quirky little aberrations that occur when one loses chunks of ones brain to ones…