Or: In Which We Contemplate the Irony of Corporate America.
Nestles has bought Jenny Craig. Getting us on the front end and on the fat flabby lumpy back end. I have said goodbye to Jenny, two months before my contract expired, because I am sick of them and because I have no willpower. And because Jenny was never fat. Her biography is in all the Jenny Craig Reading Rooms. No pictures of Jenny fat. Bitch.
So, now I’m off Jenny food and on Gary food. Gary has dropped 130 pounds in three years with his diet. His no-breakfast, tomato for lunch, HALF an turkey sandwich for dinner diet. And Starbucks. And M and Ms if they happen to cross your path. Plus, weekends are eat what you want and then starve the rest of the day. I know, its not healthy, but our Doctor sanctioned it. I have dropped five pounds on the Gary diet, making it twenty overall for the year. We shall see how Svengali he gets controlling my every bite, my little Petruchio.