Yet another benefit of aging!

Gary is now officially old enough to use an adjustable bed. When he tested it out he made an audible moan when it propped his head up. Suddenly he could breathe, he said.

I let out a similar audible moan of pleasure when I put on the fitted sheet.

Look! You can make it do an abdominal crunch, as shown here, and put the mattress cover/bottom sheet on while the head and feet are elevated, then lower the whole thing and watch the linens get taut as the bed-frame flattens out for you.

It makes up for everything that comes along with being old. I want to go tell my twenty-year old self to buy an adjustable mattress as soon as possible. And then buy a wig. And then have the efficient, easy, focused sex the elderly do. Really, elderly people have got it all figured out.