Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: August 2025

  • Skunk 2025

    Gary woke me up with “I SAW THE MOST AMAZING THING LAST NIGHT.” I was expecting a meteorite, or an owl, but he continued, “AN ALMOST PURE WHITE SKUNK.” “Aw,” I said. “IT LET ME GET RIGHT NEXT TO IT.” “What? How close to it did you get?” “IT WAS 12 INCHES AWAY FROM MY…

  • Yoga

    I reported all my falls to the neurologist and he said, “Yoga.” This is not the first time he has recommended yoga. This is not the first time I have considered yoga. I have purchased three yoga mats and then purged three yoga mats years later. He says that it will help me with my…

  • TWIL: THAT I KNOW How to pronounce assuage

    We were watching The Billy Joel documentary in HBO, and he used the word assuage. “Ah – swAHJ” he said. I thought, “Uh, that’s not right. I say ‘Ah – swAYJ’ and so does Alanis.” (Verse 3, Not All Me 1m 25s) Dictionary stands with Billy J. Not even an alternate. Alanis and me! I…

  • Weight loss food issues

    I was ready to lose my appetite on this drug. That’s the point, right? That I would no longer have my constant urge to eat. I didn’t expect how that would domino. For example, Thursday night I came home and looked at all the food I had available to me. Half the things would require…

  • Stepfather adoption: pros and cons

    My stepfather never adopted my brother and me. My parents decided against it just in case my father Jerry suddenly realized having a relationship with his children was worthwhile. That’s what I was told, anyway. My step-grandfather didn’t adopt my mom, but my biological grandfather was still in the picture. For a long time, there…

  • Weekly Paint Progress: 8/14/2025

    This week Dog Bank went from this: … to this.

  • Gary comes for me

    Gary has now lost 80 pounds since last February. He has done this without the aid of any shots, just by eating a diet of chicken vegetable soup, apple juice, and protein shakes. If he eats anything else he pays for it with a rash. Of course, nothing fits him now. Happily, he has hoarded…

  • Review: Deaf President Now

    Remember when Fahrenheit 9/11 came out, and everyone loved the one scene where Michael Moore took us through the 9/11 footage with only the audio? It felt like such a creative choice. Deaf President Now has that creativity running through every single scene, only it’s with audio cutouts at key moments and imagery motifs with…

  • Mammogram 2025

    This year’s mammogram was a mix of new and old and new. The new: for the last few months of health appointments, I have checked in, sat down in the waiting room, and the moment my butt hits the chair a door opens and my name is called. I can only guess it’s the check-in…

  • TWIL: All my devices have forgotten my birthday

    I woke up. “Alexa, what day is it?” I shrieked. “It is August 10th.” So I told her it was my birthday. I waited a moment, asked again, and she again said it was August 10. “Hey Siri, what day is it?” “It is the tenth of August.” “Is it a special day?” “Do you…