Gary has now lost 80 pounds since last February. He has done this without the aid of any shots, just by eating a diet of chicken vegetable soup, apple juice, and protein shakes. If he eats anything else he pays for it with a rash.
Of course, nothing fits him now. Happily, he has hoarded every article of clothing throughout his 10-year weight gain, so last weekend he found every previous pair of jeans and tried them on by descending size. None fit. The only pair left were the jeans with the roomy man thighs that fit me for the first time last week.
“Here,” I sighed, “Take these jeans. They fit me now but” [big sigh] “they’ll probably fit you better.” I made the sacrifice.
He did try them on, and they did fit him, though he said they were “A BIT SNUG.” A bit snug. Fine. I thought, “They’re snug on me too, but I just put up with it, you big baby, because I love them.” Better than “A BIT LOOSE” anyway.
I suppose he saw my face and decided that he’d be happier one size up. More likely, though, he knew the chaos that would explode if he were the smallest member of the family.