MRI Firsts

I had an MRI recently, and it was full of firsts.

First MRI without contrast. I always get two passes through the MRI machine: pass one, and then they pull me out and push the “Contrast” solution through me so that — literally — the images of the new lesions will show up in higher contrast. I suppose after years of reading “no new lesions” they are done looking for them. No contrast MRIs take only fifteen minutes. Move along, nothing to see here.

First MRI during the wig era. My last MRI two years ago came days before I flirted with wig #1, Moe. I thought I could keep it on, especially because I didn’t have any clips or pins, but no. I dramatically whipped it off in front of other people, whispered, “I will miss you, my precious,’ and flopped it in the locker.

First MRI on a Saturday. The odd thing about coming in on a Saturday is that instead of waiting for an hour in a packed waiting room you wait for an hour with just one other patient. After 45 minutes the person at reception got up, said, “Someone will be by to get you in a bit,” turned off the lights, and left.

The one person I’d been waiting with said, “Well.”

It was 2:30. I glanced at the sign. Waiting room closed at 2:30. “If they forget about us it’ll be like that children’s book where the kids live alone in a museum.”

She said, “Yeah. We can get up to some mischief.”

“If I did drugs, I’d be really excited.”

“If we’re here all night … gotta do something to pass the time.”