I began an exercise program last fall to knock down my high respiration rate. One of the doctors recommended that if I find workouts dull, I should watch something exciting while exercising, preferably something with cliffhangers. That way, I’ll be motivated to return the next day. I remembered how workouts flew by when I biked along with The Wire and The Americans.
This time, though, it’s been hard to find anything interesting. Three episodes of Dexter left me cold, Lost sounds infuriating, I didn’t remember anything I liked about the pilot of 24, and Lupin is reserved for my TV-watching friend.
So I thought I’d look up suspenseful movies. I’ve seen them all but for the war movies (yawn) and Heat. Deniro, Pacino, Azaria. Sounds good, right?
Oh. My god. So tedious. So boring. So little excitement, so much WITH THE CRIMINALS TALKING ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS. It would have been better as an hour-long TV episode, but we had to plod through Pacino’s fraught relationship (married to his job), Kilmer’s dissatisfied blonde (only interesting only because his rival is Chief Wiggum / David from Friends) and to cap it off, Deniro moons unconvincingly over a woman he barely knows.
I know this is not a popular opinion. Heat has an 8.3 rating on IMDB. -Still I think we need two director’s cuts of this movie: one about how hard it is to be with a woman, any woman, and another for the ladies with all the chase scenes and heists.