So I was still investigating if all this sex compulsion might have a psychological basis. I wanted to pinpoint when (and possibly why) my sex drive shot up so suddenly. It was definitely between the neurologist visit on April 13 and the urologist visit on June 15.
What happened during those two months? Luckily I have a blog. (Don’t know if you’re familiar with it, you might be a Google drop-in).
I started to narrow things down. There was the coronation. That wouldn’t have affected me. I did go to the opera, but it seems evident my desires were entrenched given how I was ogling the men. I was full-on pining at the end of May.
I focused on early May. And what did I do in early May?
Set up my damn will and signed it on May 5.
I didn’t talk about it on the blog a lot, but it did take up a lot of my time: planning for my death, moving money around pre-death, considering the wishes of husband number one, considering the wishes of imaginary husband number two, paperwork, signatures.
So that’s probably what happened, then? Seems like that could be a good tipping point if this sex obsession has all been a mad biological desire to pass on my genes.
21 responses to “Pivot Point?”
I’m looking forward to you figuring this out as I’m there with you. I think it’s a menopause thing, my lady bits are having a last burst of interest before shriveling up forever. Maybe?
Lynn – My meno paused like … ten years ago, I think. No surge for me back then. This past summer did feel like I was flaming out, a “last burst” as you say.I wonder if part of it is a need to connect after all this pandemic isolation.
Writing your will does seem strongly plausible as a component, but also yeah, having human connection cravings could play into that as well, and then who knows what in terms of physiological components that could affect the strength or direction of that focus?
(but also, maybe next time you’re doing something where Gary will avoid you for three days anyway, you can schedule a [presumably non-erotic] massage in the same day, to help soothe any “please, extra touch” layers that might be in the mix?)
KC – actually, what I’m doing right now on the connection front the past few days is remembering and re-playing a particularly fun conversation in which I met and connected with someone really, way, way too fast. That’s more satisfying to me than having strangers massage me, I think. But maybe something less grope-y than a massage. Something like the scene in the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy and the lion get primped up to meet the wizard?
Hm. Maybe you could tape your mask on and have someone do things with your hair?
(also, yes, personal connection works better, it’s just not something you can readily schedule and purchase. At least not in the US.)
KC – I do have a wig that needs to be thinned. I’d need to make an appointment. That’s something I could schedule. (And of course now it occurs to me that is something that I could do just by dropping off the wig. It is detachable hair.)
Mm, it *might* turn out slightly better if you had them do the thinning while it is on you, to get your face/head shape right… but yeah, probably it can be thinned totally adequately without your participation aside from dropoff and pickup and pay.
KC – I agree, it needs to be on my face. I wonder when I’ll get up the nerve to do that.
You can tape your mask on (… you could even tape it on with those brown-paper wrinkle-reducing strips), or wear the mask under the wig if it’s a back-of-the-head strap. It won’t give perfect facial-feature balance, but probably head/face shape is more relevant for wig trimming than the shape of your nose, right?
I would not endorse going out without a mask right now.
KC – I thought that too, that there was going to be a surge, but evidently the threat isn’t turning out to be as bad as anticipated. The strain with the high mutations seems to be suppressed.
The thing is, friends or their progeny keep getting things, about half of which are covid and half of which are miserable but not covid. So yes, the surge has stopped accelerating, yay! (first week in a while where the weekly covid death count was not higher than the previous weekly covid death count! This is good!)
But also still NO.
The thing is, friends or their progeny keep getting things, about half of which are covid and half of which are miserable but not covid. So yes, the surge has stopped accelerating, yay! (first week in a while where the weekly covid death count was not higher than the previous weekly covid death count! This is good!)
But also still NO.
KC – It will all probably be different by the new year. Much better, most likely.
I hope so! That would be really nice, and also we have people visiting us around that time and it’d be great if they didn’t all get sick from traveling… (I will still be wearing a mask, though. I have too many stacked-up stroke risk factors for it to be decently-safe-ish to catch covid, on top of the wonky-although-not-suppressed immune system.)
KC – even with Paxlovid? My doctor seems to think all will be well with Paxlovid.
Paxlovid does knock down the stroke risk addition, but I’ve literally got six separate stroke risk factors already, and just no. Plus 1. a lot of people are getting POTS for the first time post-Covid (it’s one of the most common Long Covid outcomes) and 2. a lot of people are having worse POTS post-Covid. Paxlovid does seem to help a lot, but I’m not confident of it helping *enough* for me to not lose some function (and I’m already pretty low on function).
Also with all the “oh, don’t worry, now it’s only as bad as the flu” people, see: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nvss/vsrr/covid19/index.htm and consider when Paxlovid started to be in use and consider the flu death column vs. the covid death column. (*although* some of the people who died from Covid might not have had paxlovid, and some might not have had paxlovid “soon enough” but also… I just don’t wanna be in any of those columns, really, and neither do I want to land in a nursing home because I can’t make it to the bathroom by myself anymore without blacking out. Just: not my jam.)
KC – POTS sounds just awful. I think it’s smart to avoid anything that could pile on top of that. And I have to say, this chart made me feel a lot better about getting the flu.
Most cases of POTS are less… vicious… than mine, but honestly, yeah, no, I don’t want *ANY* more of it thanks.
Yeah. The visualization that this table replaced shows the most recent most-deadly flu year off to the left, which definitely spiked into “more deaths than would be expected” territory to some degree, but… it’s still not as many:
https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nvss/vsrr/covid19/excess_deaths.htm
(the last five weeks of death data are always somewhat incomplete, so ignore the range on the right side of the chart, or compare with those dates in the table)
And especially-bad flu years are bad, and we should try to avoid having more people die than necessary just in general, and it’s really good especially for those at risk and those among at-risk populations to get vaccinated for the flu each year! But maybe we could try to reduce transmission of all of the mean critters (if people would mask with good masks when they were sick with anything or knew they’d been exposed to things, for instance; vaccination for those who can be vaccinated; not forcing people back into offices; etc.).
But also, yes, this data does not make me *especially* nervous about the flu. 🙂 We did know someone who died from the flu in the last bad flu season, but previous to that I’d never known *anyone* or known of anyone who had died from the flu, which is anecdotal rather than statistic, but when you’ve known more than a few dozen people who have died, it starts to get at least almost a *little* adjacent to data; not *good* data but still something?
KC – I think I have only had influenza once, and I certainly believe I might have died. That weakness. Overwhelming.
Last time spouse had the flu (before the pandemic), he was *remarkably* wobbly while walking and extremely prone to remaining prone rather than getting up; like, not reading, not listening to things, not watching things, just… mostly lying there, awake but blurry, for more than a day (he did get up to go to the bathroom and occasionally to stumble to the kitchen for orange juice and crackers). He does not do the traditional Man Cold thing (I swear *some* negatives exist, but there’s honestly so much to love about him), so I assume that that particular flu must have been a real knockdown one (or, I guess, maybe he had the flu *and* a cold at the same time? unsure). Other years, flu hasn’t clocked him that hard, though. So maybe you got one of *those* flus instead of the average case?
But yeah. Any time you look at your mug of tea, and go “I’m thirsty, but that looks too far [12 inches] to reach, and it’ll be so heavy [… less than 14 oz], never mind…” it is not a good sign…
KC – I remember being too tired to walk, lying on the floor, and just not moving for hours.