Every woman without children needs an arsenal of reasons to defend that decision. People with children want to know “why not,” especially the ones who never asked themselves “why.”
I have plenty of reasons, but now that my brother Dave’s gone I realize I have more. He required a lot of emotional care, and of course financial care. However, now I realize that while the financial responsibility was only for the last fourteen years, the emotional maintenance has been since I was born.
Add that to the responsibilities I had as the only physically healthy one in the family, and though I don’t feel like it equals the responsibility of even one child, I didn’t sign up for it. So I’m not inclined to re-live it again.
I still miss him at times, like when there is breaking news, or space news. It’s like a whole new world now. I’m like an empty-nester; no idea what to do with all this time and peace.
3 responses to “Kids / Brothers”
*hugs* to you.
I’m so sorry you are missing your brother.
I have to say, as someone who asked myself “why” a lot before ultimately taking the plunge, I feel a very strong need to tell anyone thinking about the decision that both options are very valid life choices and to emphasize that I could also have had a very fulfilling and happy life without a child. Like an emissary from the other side.
Back when I wasn’t sure I wanted to take the plunge (and then when I decided to but it turned out I was barren and required assistance) I always found those questions so offensive. Because none of your business, that’s why.
KC – thanks.
AH – It’s nice to hear there are emissaries from both sides. What a road that must have been: wanting and then needing assistance. I’m glad you wanted and then got what you wanted.