In the past three years I have knocked off forty pounds (vegetables/low fat protein, one starch a day), gained back twenty (I added back one additional starch), then lost thirty (eat anything I want except starch) for a total of fifty pounds. I saw 189.3 the last time I weighed myself: it was a happy day. As a result, my rings are rattling and spinning around my fingers.
I weighed 122 when I got my engagement/wedding band set, which has since been resized twice, broken, and fused together again. I weighed 135 when I got my anniversary ring, which has been resized once. So now I weigh 190 189.3, walking around with rings sized for a 240 pound woman.
I’ve spent a few years wearing very thin gold wire rings that fit on top of my big floppy rings so that I can draw my hands out of my pockets without leaving a ring behind. And now, yes, even those are getting too big.
Yesterday I remembered that I have Mom’s wedding band. Mom was half a foot shorter than I and she never topped fifty pounds less than my goal weight. Somehow, Mom’s wedding band fits me perfectly now.
I used that to lock my wedding set down. Then I used it to lock my anniversary ring down. Then I got on-line to look at ring guards. Then I looked at cubic zirconian ring enhancers. Then I looked at silicon ring resizers and How to Resize a Ring with a Hot Glue gun.
And then this morning — and I know it took me way way too long to figure this out, and I don’t know why I didn’t figure it out three years ago — I discovered that I! Have! Other! Fingers! And they are all fatter than my ring finger! I stuck my wedding set on my index finger, my anniversary ring on my middle finger of my right hand, and Mom’s wedding band on my Official Ring Finger.
I’ve had it that way for three hours now. Mom hasn’t risen from the grave to claim her bride. (Yet.) I feel a little like a gypsy with rings on unofficial fingers, but Mom’s ring is substantial, and my wedding set looks relieved that it doesn’t have to “represent” in this world of cubic zirconia engagement rings the size of sunflowers.
I haven’t run this configuration past Gary yet, but unless he feels that I’m defrauding the public with this setup I’m sticking with it. In fact, I might just get my great grandmother’s wee engagement ring out and put it on my pinky. Dad’s high school ring would fit my thumb. Everything’s wide open now!
2 responses to “In Which It Takes Me Entirely Too Many Years to Reach an Obvious Solution”
I feel like it takes me entirely too many years to reach every obvious solution that I have ever reached. Maybe at some point I will realize I should stop eating starches.
Allison – what I find is that I reach the obvious solution in a few years and then I forget it. Ask me how the Christmas light timer works. I forget every year. (I’m taping the secret to the timer itself this evening.)