I cried at the Mary Poppins Returns trailer. Somehow, I thought that was a fluke. I was still excited to see the movie.
First twenty minutes? No tears. Big girl. Mary Poppins descends from the heavens, the same scene that made me cry in the trailer? Tears. I let them flow.
Next twenty minutes. More tears flowed.
Children sing about Dead Mom. Many tears. This movie is right next to Babe on the List of Movies To Avoid If Your Mom is Dead.
The rest of the movie? Heartwarming thing happens, tears, dance number, tears, Dick Van Dyke shows up, many many tears.
It was ridiculous. My shirt got wet. I had a headache the day after from dehydration. A Mary Poppins Hangover.
I have NO idea why. The original doesn’t make me cry. I think they did something subliminal, like they did in the Exorcist. Split-second frames from Hallmark Card commercials. Sickos.