Another Animal Adventure

Gary and I again made our yearly visit to Big Joel’s Animal Safari Park. Big Joel has expanded a lot of his exhibits, and there were some piglets born four days ago that were draining the mother DRY, but the most remarkable things were not what we saw but what we heard.

For example, we saw tortoises being made. Even more remarkable was the sound of tortoises being made. Listen closely to our video and you can hear it.

(Also remarkable was the tone I use with my husband. A drawl of contempt.)

Just as I didn’t expect to hear tortoises quacking their way through sex, I didn’t expect to hear a zeedonk scream “J’ACUSSE!” at Gary.

The zeedonks (“Zeedonks may bite!”) were directly across from where the tortoises were making love and I’m afraid Gary didn’t give them any food. We followed a footpath that circled from the zeedonks and tortoises to the porcupines and water buffalo and then back again. When we returned, the female tortoise had crawled under a bush and at least three families were feeding the zeedonk, who either:

1. Brayed “YOU IGNORED ME!” directly at Gary, or …
2. Tried to quack like a duck tortoise having sex directly at Gary.

I can tell you, whatever it was it was pointed directly at Gary. The thing spotted Gary, made eye contact, started simultaneously hyperventilating and braying, and followed Gary along the fence as Gary cried, “Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Here, here’s some food! Sorry!”

It would be scary if zeedonks remember people from year to year. It would be really scary if there’s some baby tortoise next year who follows Gary around like he’s its godfather.