Once or twice a year we visit the world-famous St. Louis zoo. Second best of all zoos, best free zoo. Of course, our visit to the free zoo cost us fifty bucks, with parking, lunch, and passage on the train.
THE TRAIN
I usually see the Zoo Train as the object blocking my way to the bathroom. However, early in our visit we saw a toddler cutting through gardens and dodging gates, determined to get to the train.
(I should note here that “Zoo Train” is not the official name, it is “Emerson Zooline Railroad,” in honor of its sponsor, Emerson Electric. It will take you all the way from the Enterprise Rent-A-Car Family Sea Lion Landing to the Monsanto Insectarium. This is why it’s a free zoo. I couldn’t find my employer’s name on anything. Perhaps now that we’ve taken the name off the empty football stadium we can get naming rights to a zoo exhibit. I’d campaign to name the new grizzly bear habitat, but the St. Louis based Build-a-Bear will probably nab that one.)
Gary remembered being on the train when he was a child, which would have been more than fifty years ago. “I’ve never been on the train,” I said. Gary, bless him, fought past his natural fear of looking like a pedophile and took me for a ride on the kiddie-packed train. We shared a seat because I recently lost over forty pounds: had I not we could not have been so cosy.
That train was a revelation.
First off, at least a fourth of it is underground. There was a metal tunnel, a plain cement tunnel, and a tunnel decorated with a mural of scampering tigers.
Second, while you are above ground, at one point it trundles through “Elephant Woods,” which you can only see FROM THE TRAIN. We saw an elephant feeding from a manger. Evidently even viewing an elephant in the woods is not guaranteed, because from the little bit I read about it on the zoo website, Elephant Woods appears to be a leisure resort for elephants. And its full name is just “Elephant Woods.” It isn’t tagged with a St. Louis business name, because you’ve paid for the train ticket. It’s like cable tv: you’ve paid up front, so no commercials.