I Hate All Bears, Too*

The menopause is hitting me hard.

My default setting is “I Have Had Enough of This” and it can spike in no time.

For example, Gary and I were reorganizing the laundry room.

(We were reorganizing
… because we bought a new clotheswasher. We bought a clotheswaher …
… because Sears gave us a deal. We got a deal …
… because we just bought a refrigerator, and …
… because we are suckers.
Sears and McDonalds both have caught us in their buy a product / get a coupon for the next product trap.)

Anyway, I say “Gary and I.” To be more accurate, I reorganized the laundry room while Gary expressed his intention to use zip ties to stabilize some wire shelves.

For three hours, while I did the rest of the work, Gary changed his shoes, put on a back brace, stretched, and TOOK a NAP.

Then he heard me climb on top the dryer to put on the damn zip ties myself, damnit, and he came in to the laundry room to say:

“What are you doing? The zip ties? I don’t want you doing that, you’ll do it wrong.”

I don’t remember much of anything after that.

I didn’t launch myself off the dryer onto his head, but I burst into tears, and he yelled, and I screamed, and he stomped into the room and slammed the door.

I charged in there and called him the “C-word.”

“Oh,” you think, the long “C-word”. Nope. The short one. I know, it made no sense, because as he immediately pointed out, that is a pejorative term reserved for the ladies, but it is the worst term I know, and I was angrier than I have ever been.

And I know all of you are virtuous and would never use THAT word, and I say, you have never had your zip tie skills questioned by Gary while on top of a dryer. You can’t judge me.

(Every once in a while now Gary kisses me on the nose and says, “I’m your little c%@t.”)

Anyway, I am not rational. I can’t even curse properly.

* The title comes from the top cultural reference for menopause: the All in Family episode Edith’s Problem.

(We just watched the full episode. It made me cry.)