“No Versed,” I said to the nurse at the doctors office.
“I don’t know if they use that drug for a D&C, but I’ll make a note of that in your chart. Be sure to tell your anesthesiologist.”
A few hours later, I was speaking with the pre registration woman at the hospital.
“No Versed,” I said.
“I’ll make a note of that in your chart. Be sure to tell your anesthesiologist.”
A few minutes later, I was speaking with he pre registration woman at the women’s health clinic where they’ll do the D&C. She was explaining that they’d use Propofol.
“Oh, good. I like Propofol.”
“Plus Versed and Fentanyl.”
“No Versed.”
“Be sure to tell your anesthesiologist.”
Seriously? What will he do? Will he make a note in my chart?
It has been twenty years, and I still cry when I think about the time the doctor turned into a giant sheep. I can always successfully convince them that I can’t take the Versed, it’s just a hassle. Everyone believes me when I say I’m allergic to penicillin. I think this time I’m going to focus on how I woke up to nurses yelling at me to breathe.
We shall see.
7 responses to “I Wish There Was a Scratch Test”
Scratch test?
Grab a magic marker and write it on your arms and your forehead.
Versed destroys my ability to form short-term memories for almost a year after. I’m thinking might get a medical bracelet. At my age, I can’t afford even the smallest edge off my memory. I might go in for some small procedure and come to in an Alzheimer’s ward.
~~silk -you know, like the test they use to see if you’re allergic to pollen or cats.
I have had Versed for different procedures, the latest being cataract surgery last year. I love the shit. I will take any you don’t want. Seriously.
Zayrina -I may be changing my mind on versed
I wonder if that’s the stuff that gave me nightmares for weeks after a colonoscopy.
I remember when I had my knee surgery, and they all told me to tell my anesthesiologist. You know when I met him? In the g-d operating room. He had needles and bottles full of stuff, and he was VERY upset than no one had told him about my allergies beforehand. He was, oddly, very upset with *me* for not telling him.
I’d say that I hated that guy, but he put me out all the way for a procedure that I was supposed to be awake for. He said I was freaking out too much. I kind of love a man that can make me stop freaking out and go to sleep, instead.
Hattie – Could be.
Tami – What an asshole! I bet he gave you everything you were allergic to but just put you out so you wouldn’t remember. I’m feeling very dark about doctors today. Gary made me feel better by reminding me that everyone we know who has had a surgical procedure felt left out of the process and mistrustful when they went in.