Why Meno”pause”? I don’t want a pause, I want a complete eradication of the meno. MenoShrivelUpandDieWorthlessFleshPocket.
So, I was at the gyno today and mentioned the hot flashes at the beginning of last month and the hysterical crying that prompted Gary to proclaim The Change was upon us.
The gyno said, “Well, 51 is the average age menopause starts.” And I am nothing if not average. Especially when it comes to being a female.
He advised that I should finish up this month of birth control, stay off it for two weeks, and then come back for a blood test to see if I have any hormones at all.
He also said there were supplemental hormones that could help with the hot flashes. Hormones, good or bad? I don’t need any now, because the flashes fade in … well, a flash, essentially. Of course, I’ve been supplementing my body with artificial female hormones since I was eighteen, since that’s what my birth control pill is.
Oooh, what if I’m done with the Menstruation already? My breasts showed up in the course of a week, maybe I’ll just knock out this menopause thing before the end of my birthday month.
More likely, I have years ahead of me of turmoil and sweat, or else I’ll try this birth control hiatus and, after period-free years, I will stain myself at work.
4 responses to “The End Times Are Upon Us”
I don’t actually know your pain. I had a Hysterectomy in 2008 and the pause was no pause at all, rather it was immediate. I did no hormones at all deciding that nature knows best. I am plagued by heat intolerance and hot flashes, a rather dry climate down under if you get my drift. Not having to deal with the monthly mess is heavenly though.
Oh yeah and I am definitely more stable emotionally than I was pre-hysto. Don’t crave chocolate any more either.
Let the good times roll.
Wait, I was hoping that being on the pill since I was 18 would mean Menopause wouldn’t come. I mean, I knew it would, but they’re hormones I’m on now; right? Clearly I need to do more research because I’m not that many years behind you. Damn.
I never took the pill or any female hormones. Now I’m just an old lady, which is where all women end up if we’re lucky.
Zayrina – No chocolate? The Chocolate / salt craving is the only remaining part of my blood-free cycle.Amy in StL – They are hormones, that’s why I have to go off it before they test. It’s possible they just aren’t enough hormones when ours dry up?Hattie – I am looking forward to it, especially if I get to be an “old lady” world traveler like you!