I have mentioned Susan from Work before: she’s the angel with eggplant hair and a bobbed nose. Her most recent visit to the salon changed her do from a blocky jet-black rocker cut to a tidy cap of brown hair.
“I don’t like it,” she moaned. “It looks too perfect.”
Too perfect? Well, everything else on the girl looks perfect, I suppose that must be a burden to have unrelenting perfection.
I suggested wax, and she said she’d tried it to no avail.
That made me feel a little superior, because I don’t even need wax to make my hair look untidy.
Let me explain my techinique for acheieving a messy look that I employed just today.
1. Wake up and wash hair.
2. Fall back asleep on wet hair.
3. Wake up and re-wet head-hugging flat hair.
4. Use mousse. Dry into a tidy cap of brown hair.
5. Leave bathroom. Hair is now made untidy by the change in humidity.
6. Leave the house on way to barbeque at Hot Mom’s house. Realize you forgot makeup. Return home and apply makeup.
7. Admire hair, which has settled into a nice compromise of tidy and wavy.
8. Return to the hot car and blow air conditioning on hair. This makes it frightened and compliant.
9. Pat hair to manually stabilize it in a ‘nice’ form. Hair freaks out. Hair is now screwed up.
10. Sweat during the barbeque. Ends of hair decide to wave while roots plaster to head.
11. Go to a remarkable Cowboy Mouth concert to be detailed later. Be hit in the head with a number of beach balls.
(Remember the beach ball, it will be a constant theme through the next few posts, like the red coat girl in Schindler’s list. – Ed)
The beach ball further fouls up your hair.
12. When the concert is over, take a golf cart ride back to your car. The breeze is pleasant but further frizzes your hair.
13. Blast the a.c. when you get back to your car.
14. DO NOT LOOK AT YOUR HAIR WHEN YOU GET HOME. Go right to the shower and wash it.
15. Repeat with step 1.
6 responses to “Easy Ways to Achieve That Messy Look”
I have a 1 step process:
1) have my particular hair.
You’ve seen me. I own the “yeah, this is MY messy hair” look.
Tami – I’m still trying to have tidy hair. I gave up for a while until people started commenting on how bad my hair looked. It looks better with the new drugs.
Today I have a messy French braid.
Tami – in a Seventeen Magazine in the late seventies there was an article on how to do an inverse French braid. You flipped your hair over your head, hung your head upside down, did a french braid from the bottom up, then stood up and it looked incredible. Like the hair was woven into your head. Of course, my hair stops at my shoulders no matter how long it grows.
I used to braid my hair that way when I was 13. Now I look funny without something hanging below the level of my double chin.
You know what? Considering my weight, I’m grateful that I only have 2.
Tami – I have not so much chin but a fat hammock containing a manatee.