Cowboy Mouth July 4th Concert!

Hot Mom and Mr. Hot Mom have been Cowboy Mouth fans since tending bar in New Orleans twenty years ago. Hot Mom had her birthday party in Chicago this February and attended the Cowboy Mouth concert there. When Hot Family found out Cowboy Mouth would be playing a free concert one highway exit from their home, Hot Mom was over the moon.

Hot Mom and Dad are only half of Hot Family: about twelve years ago they had identical twins. (After five minutes with these twins you forget they’re identical, and begin to think of them as “the one who isn’t smiling” and “the emotional one.” Hot Mom dances at the concert? One girl covers her face with her hands like she’s seeing live porn, the other lectures her mom dourly about acting her age.)

The twins carried posterboard signs that read “The Name of the Band is..” and “Cowboy Mouth.” The other sides read “Everybody Loves Jill” and a declaration of their love for the band.

Gary asked if they really liked the band or if they liked them because their parents did. “WE LOVE THE BAND” they insisted, outraged that we would even suggest Cowboy Mouth Love is genetic.

The twins followed good sign etiquette during the concert. We were about six feet from the stage, in a prime view-blocking area, but they never held up the signs too long. They held up the signs reading “The Name of the Band is…” “Cowboy Mouth” at the appropriate times, when Fred the lead singer / drummer demaded the call and refrain.

AND THEN.

“Little Darlins with the signs!” Fred yelled, and my heart stopped, “Turn around and show those signs to the audience!”

I. Died. Hot Mom went from over the moon to over Jupiter. I pinched her arm. I squeed, “Oh my GOD a callout from the stage!”

“And they don’t even know how great that is!” Youth, wasted on the young.

There was a massive beach ball drop at one point, and the Hot Twins (I can’t call them that) … and the IdentiTwins and their girlfriend were loving the balls.

“LITTLE DARLINS!” Fred yelled from the stage. “ARE YOU HAVING A GOOD TIME?”

I don’t even know what they yelled back, but I know they said something, and he said something, because I thought “CONVERSING WITH THE BAND. CONVERSING. HAVING A CHAT WITH THE BAND IN FRONT OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE. LIVING THE DREAM AT TWELVE.” And I don’t even think they’re twelve yet.

Can you stand it? I know! They won’t be able to top that experience, unless someday Bruce Springsteen calls them up on stage like Courtney Cox.

AND. THEN.

In the middle of the finale, Fred looks at them and yells, “Little Darlins, get your butts up here on the stage!”

I don’t recall if they looked at Hot Parents for approval. They had to clamber over a barrier and security had to heave them up to the stage. Then, they stood there and soaked in the crowd adulation. Smiling Twin did a cute little bob and curtsy, and Somber Twin cracked a tiny smile, like yeah, you should be looking at me, I am awesome, and I own this stage. Neither was self conscious or embarrassed. I mean, it wasn’t like their Mom was dancing or something.

Hot Mom was now in orbit past Voyager 1.

Fred got them to stop posing and hold up the signs behind his drum kit while he called out other, younger, less cool people from the crowd. And the Twins held up the signs high for at least ten minutes. And their arms hurt and they didn’t stop. And then afterward they had a photo op with the band and got tshirts and drum sticks.

Life will just be downhill from here, unless they get on a reality show or something.