Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: July 2013

  • Evil Plans

    August begins Thursday, and as we know August is my birthday month, when I win any argument, do no chores, and get what I want. More important, it is the first birthday month of the New Era. Gary has all kinds of time now. There are restaurants that need sampling, bags of mulch that need…

  • New Pope Found Preferable to Pope Classic

    You should have heard Gary this afternoon. The topic was the new Pope’s Twitter feed. Gary, emphatically. “This Pope Francis is the best Pope ever. He makes all the other Popes look sick.” “Even the one who is supposed to be a saint now?” “ALL OF THEM. But especially the Nazi Pope. And he’s so…

  • Gary Coins a Term

    We were discussing people Gary saw at the funeral, and he described someone as his cousin’s daughter. “So,” I said, “Your first cousin once removed.” “Don’t use that term. That’s a silly term.” “Well, it’s the right term. What would you call her?” He thought a moment. “She’s my CousinNiece.” “So what’s her daughter,” I…

  • Honda is Giving Us Fits

    Dear Honda, My husband excels in disaster preparedness. Please do not send any more recall letters to our house like this one: Honda has decided a defect which relates to motor vehicle safety exists in [your Honda Fit]. … If the [power window] switch is damaged as a result of water intrusion, it may result…

  • Henrietta Pussycat to the Rescue

    The fights during the Nashville / Jacksonville trip were epic and non-ending. Friday fight: the way I drive (too cautiously) and the way he shrieks about it (like a Chihuahua on fire). I cried. Saturday fight one: He listened to each Siri driving direction, then had me repeat it, then repeat it a minute later…

  • The Hermitage(s)!

    Below is the Hermitage, a place in Nashville listed on the National Register of Historic Places. This is NOT to be confused with the Hermitage, another place in Nashville listed on the National Register of Historic Places, seen below. Nashville is confusing. It seems I did my Nashville research too quickly and sloppily. I knew…

  • That Awkward Moment…

    … When your husband goes up during a funeral mass to take communion and realizes he still has his Invisalgns in. He went ahead and let the priest put the host on his tongue, hoping it would dissolve. Unfortunately the Body of Christ was stale today, so he had to crunch it. He got Jesus…

  • Where the Elite Meet to Eat

    Sunday, when Gary suggested we eat breakfast at Bob Evans next door to our hotel, I moaned. “It’s a chain. Why not get some Southern cooking since we’re in Nashville?” But, only the security of Bob Evans would do. I ignored everything but my food and Gary. Gary got extra attention because we were trying…

  • The Concert

    1. The Nashville man sitting next to me said the venue was actually Barbara Mandrell’s farm. This explains the many BNL references to Barbara Mandrell and her lesser known sister, Howie Mandrell. 2. I bought the tickets in April, so I forgot they were VIP tickets. That was a nice surprise. When you have VIP…

  • Miscellany in Nashville

    Gary and I had a spirited discussion about the Zimmerman trial over a catfish dinner last night. He pointed out that I have never been in a fight and I am CRAZY to think someone could speak during a fight. He is entirely on Zimmerman’s side. (He was set upon by a gang of teens…