Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: June 2012

  • A Spike of Drama, a Pinch of Miscommunication

    Gary’s back is improving. Over the weekend, it felt better enough that he was able to shuffle his suffering down to his legs. He said his legs were swelling. His ankles did look a little unnaturally foldly, but other than that I just took his word for it. He read that Celebrex might cause leg…

  • An Editorial About the News

    My Yahoo news has a feature in the upper right hand corner: “News For You,” which seems to be the daily news customized for my salacious tastes. I’ve been noticing my stories have been sliding down to the National Enquirer end of the scale.Recently I followed The Face Eating Saga. (The latest: Zombie man didn’t…

  • I Do Not Feel Special

    Oh, this is not the type of personal attention I would expect from a high-class cruise line. Yeah, now that I see that Linda could not even be bothered to enter her own “personalized message,” I treat every part of this email with suspicion. That photo of the mother and child seals / sea lions?…

  • Les Rich Girl Problems

    I am not allowing Gary’s back to stunt my plans. We are still going on vacation. It was down to Hawaii vs Vancouver Island, and Canada was winning (more animals). Then, this weekend, Gary said, “Did you hear about the riots in Canada?” According to him, there is rioting in Quebec, both clothed rioting and…

  • But, you say, Aren’t you Supposed to be in Detroit? Isn’t the Wedding on Friday?

    Yes and yes. When Gary’s screams woke me up at 4 am, I just sighed, got up, and double-checked that we had packed everything. The screaming and gasping continued till six. I just stayed awake, because we were flying out at 10:30, had to be at the airport at 8:30, had to drop off the…

  • Q: What is wrong with this photo?

    A: it was not taken in Detroit.

  • Greece Slips Through My Fingers

    I’ve been spending way too much time researching vacations. I looked into Ireland for a while but turns out I was doing all the Euro conversions backwards. But you know what city is cheap? Athens. I’d just heard a report on NPR about the great deals one can get in Greece, what with the uncivil…

  • Liniment

    I visited Gary’s parents on his behalf Sunday, since he was socked in with his bad back. Gary’s mom took me into the Altar Room (previously Gary’s old bedroom) and poured some Holy Water into a small white spray bottle. She whispered, “Here, spray some of this on Gary’s back. It’s Holy Water and that…

  • Highway 40: Highway of Doom

    As I was driving Gary back from the doctor, he complained, “Why are we driving on highway 40?” “Because it’s a straight shot from the hospital to home. We just cross the river and turn right.” “But I hate highway 40. Nothing good has ever happened on 40. Remember, I had to turn entirely around…

  • A Relaxing Sunday

    If there were a TV show based on my life, and I were scripting a teaser for today, you would see: !) a police officer ringing the bell, then banging on my door. 2) Gary on the floor screaming. 3) Me, running about outside in my pajamas. Of course, reality only becomes that dramatic after…