It is the twenty-first century, and we have a candidate who is against contraception. He thinks it’s wrong. He voted for it, even though “it’s wrong.”
“I have voted in the past for funding for [birth control] for poor women,” he added. “As I said before, I believe that the better alternative is for abstinence education … for federal funds to be used for that, not for birth control, but I voted for it.”
The better alternative is abstinence. That’s what he believes. [Insert big jowly flabbergasted head shake here. Sound effect: Glugugurgub.]
What’s my opinion? The better alternative is masturbation. Lots and lots of it. (Oh, and oral sex. That’s a good alternative too.)
We know his personal view: if you are actively having sex and not trying for babies then you have sinned. I will give anything if a debate moderator asks Smooshface how he stands on masturbation. Because that’s what you want: teenagers condemned for masturbating, adults condemned for having sex and not “dealing with the consequences,” gays condemned for who they are, just general all-around condemnation.
And Big Dot, regrading your comment: of course, I made all those photos last night. The last two are from one of his rare straight-on head shots, and he would make a fairly normal looking man if he had not been smooshed.
9 responses to “Condomnation”
Hahahahaha! Scary yet hilarious. And totally guilt-free to do that to someone, because they’re politicians and fair game.
Excellent techie skill, by the way.
Just as scary – any thoughts I had about moving back to Virginia in my dotage have been swept away. I don’t have full info on this, but apparently the Gov. signed a bill that forces any woman who wants an abortion to have an MRI and then look at it. WHAT??!!!
best photos ever.
I really think these photos expose the real Santorum.
Big Dot – That was cutting and pasting in Paint. If I’d gotten my hands on my work Photoshop, I could have stretched his face or cut in a slanted line. (I did feel a bit bad making fun of his obvious deformity.)Becs – Wait – my MRI machines all say you can’t even go on the room if you’re pregnant. So they want you to hit the fetus with radiation and then change your mind?Magpie – I kind of want him to be president just to see what the editorial cartoonists will make of him. Hattie – Eww …exposed … paticulary in light of the alternate google meaning of “Santorum” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Campaign_for_%22santorum%22_neologismI had to google Santorum Headshot for those photos, don’t think I didnt see a few icky ones there.
Queen – Oops, I re-read the info and it turns out to be a vaginal ultrasound. Still. The government dictates (ha) that some woman has to stick a probe up her vagina before she can get an abortion?
Becs – My rational brain repeats what I heard (on NPR, no less), “85% of woman who get an abortion have a vaginal ultrsound as part of the process” anyway. Thats my brain. My vagina is clenched and outraged. My gut churns. My boobs still like Susan Komen just for the money. My ears miss Davy Jones. I’m conflicted. Have you seen those ultrasounds that make a 3-d image of the fetus? I’d like to see a blastocyst on one of those. People would scream “get that out of me.”
Doesn’t having something in her vagina always precede an abortion?
Caroline – key difference: foreplay…On second thought (a day later) I don’t get foreplay before the speculum goes up there. I hate the speculum and I have to psych myself up for it. But it’s a neccessary evil. Yeah, okay, my brain agrees with you, and my vagina is horrified.