Gary protests my characterization of Thanksgiving Eve. “I am NOT bossy.”
And, in his world view, he is not bossy. In his family, he is the very least bossy and controlling person. Everyone there has an opinion on how everyone else should behave, spend, date, where they should live, and instead of just having the opinion they nag, yell, or manipulate. It is how they show they care.
A relationship in trouble is marked by use of the phrase, “I don’t care, she can live her life however she wants.” Whereas in my world, “She can live her life however she wants” is a sign of respect.
In my family, Mom was controlling out of necessity, because we were her arms. She did go the extra mile to tell us all exactly how we should use our arms, and which arm we should use, and so on. I go to the other extreme. I hate telling people what to do, and if I do make a suggestion, I say if you did it, then you did it right.
(This is a problem for me at TeddyJ, where we are all to make Processes, and agree on every step. “You can do your job however you want” does not work there.)
So, by in-law standards, Gary is the most easy-going guy alive. By my family’s standards, he is bossy. I’m thinking there’s no global standard for bossy. Is there?