“I really enjoyed our dinner last night, Gary. I hope I didn’t embarrass you too much.”
“What, like with your table manners?”
(A pause. I hope you all used this pause to think,”Stop talking, Gary.”)
I asked, “What’s wrong with my table manners?”
“Nothing. It was just an example … Well, except that thing you do with your tongue when you eat.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You know, you stick out your tongue when you eat.”
“What?”
“I’ve mentioned it five thousand times.”
“In your HEAD. And, I do not.”
As it turns out, sadly, he is right. When today’s first spoonful of soup at lunch neared my face, I opened my mouth, I touched my (slightly protruding) tongue with the spoon and then my tongue ushered the spoon back into my maw. And then over and over again.
When I tried to open my mouth and get the spoon in without navigating with my tongue, I spilled soup on my chin. (The Friends were very encouraging and said it takes practice.) I was only slightly more successful with cantaloupe. One chunk completely got away from me as I tried to deposit it in my mouth without touching it to my tongue first.
I watched the Friends at lunch: no one else did this. I need to … it occurs to me I need to check if I’ve taken my medication this week* … I need to check and see if this is one of those things, like bottom-wiping, where Motherhood would have given me a refresher course in the basics.
My question now that I feel like I’m eating incorrectly: do you make tongue to food contact inside the lip threshold, or do use your tongue to guide the food into your mouth?
* I am all up on my medication.
11 responses to “Tongue Lashed”
This sounds like the kind of thing someone would come up with when they’ve been married umpteen years.
The food goes into my mouth without touching anything until the utensil puts it where it needs to be. I think. I never paid much attention to it.
I checked with my morning yogurt. My tongue is curled back away from my teeth. Then I tried it your way, and I like it better! You may have ruined me!
I do what you do and so does my mother. I have been unable to stop. I try not to eat across from people because I am very self conscious about it.
I have no idea if I do that or not! I shall report back after lunch.
At least you don’t do what my dad does – he sticks his tongue out of the side of his mouth and chews on it when he’s bored. In public. All the time.
My room mate enlightened me to the fact that I stick my fingers in my mouth all the time. Mortifying.
I have no idea; but tonight I’m totally checking this out during dinner. Hey, at least you don’t chew with your mouth open. I know my dear boyfriend has badly aligned teeth, but watching him gnaw a bite off of something and then chew with his lips open is kinda gross.
I do not stick my tongue out when eating – experiment complete. I was just chewing on my thumb while reading, though. Dammit.
Careful observation during lunch today proved that when faced with a salad, I will cram it into my mouth any way I can.
Becs – Yes. I can’t believe he kept it from me so long!Silk – So you apply your food sublingually?Wendy – Well, everyone else said they have never noticed it. I decided toi just keep doing it. And, my Mom totally did it too. I think.I only remember it when I was feeding her. Tami – I do that all the time when I’m working on a project, like gardening or especially stained glass. But I trash my tongue from one corner of my mouth to the other.Amy_in_StL – Oh, I know. People who are too busy to stop talking while eating. They need to try this tongue-technique. Tami – Wellllll, you should try it. Eating = less time chewing your thumb. Becs – Well, if it works for you. I need to attach all the fronds and greens to something.
Quite frankly, the whole process was much more attractive when you used your tounge. It’s awkward to watch a grown woman spill soup on her tounge while she eats.
Hmmm…if I were a man and you did that? I’d consider it a come-on. For real 😉
Hot Mom – Well, I am what I am. I’ll be watching you closely the next time you have soup. AmyAlabama – Gary just dragged me into the bathroom so I could watch myself eat in the mirror and it looks pretty pronounced. Not at all erotic.