Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: July 2010

Chicago does not bring the dead people

July 21, 2010
What IS this?

Whenever I’m at a concert I wonder what this stuff is illuminated by the spotlights. It isn’t smoke. Can you SEE humidity?

July 21, 2010
Dear Mr. Doobie

Please stop asking us to get us and dance. It is hot here. And I, personally, like your new songs best. Regards, Ellen

July 21, 2010
Welcome back to the Verizon EZ Bake Amphitheater

July 21, 2010
Bang bang bang Bullets!

Gary X. S_____ , the DoppleGary, has resurfaced. He shows up every few years when creditors call my Gary, looking for Deadbeat Gary, and we have to explain they want the other Gary. When last seen, DoppleGary had just skipped out of a mansion in West County, this time he skipped out of a beach…

July 20, 2010
Tornadoes

Saturday I watched two episodes of Seconds From Disaster in an effort to tidy the TiVo. One episode documented a tornado that chewed up the Midwest in ’74. Usually I’m ready for tornadoes. After this episode I am on the block and poised for the firing gun. Bring it! I know what to do, what…

July 19, 2010
History Is Made At The In-Laws

Every time Gary and I leave the in-laws, Gary’s Mom, Wilma, hugs us both. His Dad, Ken, hugs me and shakes Gary’s hand. Unbeknownst to everyone, THIS BREAKS WILMA’S HEART. Today, during a loud lunch conversation she randomly announced that ALL SHE WANTS BEFORE SHE DIES is to see HER HUSBAND hug HER ONLY SON…

July 18, 2010
Come Here, Mary J, I Wanna Talk to You

Mary J. Blige hurt my husband. Last night during the Mary J. portion of the concert, I pantomimed my opinion of Gary staring at the rear of the woman in the next row. He pulled me toward him and yelled in my ear, “I’M NOT STARING AT HER BUTT, I’M DUCKING MY HEAD. THE NOISE…

July 17, 2010
Sara M is so much quieter than Mary J

July 16, 2010
Who is Mary J Blige? Gary asked

July 16, 2010