- Gary X. S_____ , the DoppleGary, has resurfaced. He shows up every few years when creditors call my Gary, looking for Deadbeat Gary, and we have to explain they want the other Gary. When last seen, DoppleGary had just skipped out of a mansion in West County, this time he skipped out of a beach home in Florida. As my last act on earth I’m going to buy a racehorse on credit, then when the dunning letters start I’ll say, “Oh, you want the other Gary S_____, we get his bill collectors all the time.”
- Here’s the episode of Penn and Teller’s Bullshit I think they should make:
Penn: Surrounded by naked people, “Dry clean only? Dry clean ONLY? Why don’t they just make a tag that says, ‘NEVER CLEAN THIS GARMENT?’ Because Dry Cleaning is BULLSHIT!” [Theme music plays.]
Cut to commercial. It’s a Febreeze commercial, and it actually honestly shows a woman squirting Febreeze on her clothes instead of dry-cleaning them. Because that’s what I do.
- Speaking of Bullshit, did you see the episode last week about Teen Sex? They started by having each staff rattle off the age they first had sex (they were all teens, of course). I brought that up to Friends 2-4, and found #2’s definition of sex was “if a private part of one person makes contact with any part of another person, that’s sex.” I think that’s a good definition, though of course you couldn’t convince me of that when I was a teenager. It made me remember how I insisted Gary and I not have sex until we were wed. Poor guy. I should have said, “What do you think we’re doing? Pantomime?”
4 responses to “Bang bang bang Bullets!”
Pantomime? I’m CRYING with laughter.My brother-in-law’s name is Andrew Eagleson and once in his student house he was busted in on by a camera crew looking for Alan Eagleson.
Allison – That Alan Eagleson guy sounds like quite a character.
Correction: I said I’m telling my KIDS that sex is “if a private part of one person makes contact with any part of another person, that’s sex.” I have my own definition. Then again, I’m a grown woman who pays my own bills. I can make up my own mind about stuff.
Hot Mom – Perhaps the issue really should be parsed into “Sex that can get you pregnant so that your parents never get a break” and “Fun Sex / Safe sex” But then of course teens would be all “I want the baby-making sex!”