I need to be in bed in 14 minutes!
Gary and I both had to be awake this moning for 8:30 appointments. Mine was to see my neurologist (not the one I saw Friday) about this swallowing / choking issue. (When I told Gary why I’d made the appointment, he said, “No way! I’ve been having trouble swallowing lately too!”)
So the doctor made me chug a glass of water, asked me if my singing voice had changed, and determined I am fine. Then he asked if I’ve been getting enough sleep. “When did you get to bed last night?”
“Eleven.”
“When did you get to sleep?”
“Two a.m.”
“When did you wake up?”
“Five a.m.”
“When do you wake up on a normal day?”
“Gary always sets the alarm for five.”
Then I explained that I should have gotten six hours of sleep, from 11 to 5, and that Gary needs either six or nine hours of sleep, but never eight, because it causes neurological problems for him.
What I didn’t explain was that Gary spent 1:15-2 am watching “Hunt for Red October” on the new speakers full blast because, say it with me, it’s his birthday month. And “Hunt For Red October” — you just never see that movie on TV. To be fair, he did scream, “For God’s sake let me just finish this scene” every time I complained, so he had good intentions.
The doctor told me what I needed to do was get eight hours of sleep and have my husband change his behavior. These were his recommendations, in order:
Tell Gary I need my sleep
Tell Gary I need my sleep because this is unacceptable
Tell Gary sweetly I need my sleep
Just, sit him down and reason with him
Sit Gary down and tell him this is my health and this is serious and to take pity on me
Instead I left Gary an email reading “I just got back from the doctor. We need to talk.”
That backfired, because when Gary heard we needed to have a serious talk about sleeping habits he started to laugh.
So, I have to do my part, I have to get to bed … five minutes ago.
11 responses to “Early to Bed”
You should be really sweet and take Gary a nice refreshing beverage at around 9pm. Forget to mention the ambien/tylenol pm cocktail you added to it. Viola! Sleep for everyone.
I cannot help but admire the devious.
I like that refreshing beverage idea, too. That’s straight up clever.
You know, you can die from lack of sleep. Seriously. It can kill you directly, or it can impair your abilities so that you make some horrible mistake or have an accident. Gary hasn’t bought new life insurance on you, has he?
It might be more effective if you make Gary go with you to your doctor appointments. I usually make my husband go with me. That way, he doesn’t think I’m making anything up, exaggerating, or outright lying to get things my way. It’s also useful for using guilt on him later.
The Powder Puff Derby car was cut, sanded, and primed when I got home tonight. Maybe there is something to asking for what you need.
Oh, Queen M, you must must MUST check my blog. I’ve found answers to problems you didn’t even know you needed answers to — in a catalog!
You know, the worst part about having kids is that you lose your right to uninterrupted sleep, for years. You’re in that same position without the compensation of, um, of… Well, there must have been something, you should have asked me before they turned into teenagers. Anyway, it’s WRONG what Gary’s been doing, you tell him from me. He’s got to stop it, stat.
Shania – I took a similar approach – I gave myself the tylenol pm, and I’m doing it again tonight.Tami – Well, everyone but the dog. And if the dog doesnt sleep…Sherri – I know you can die from lack of sleep because it leads to accidents! That’s how my first Sim died! Caroline – You can use the threat of the disappointed crying child. Sherri – A tit pillow! Or were you saying you think my bottom stinks? How is it you didn’t leave a link to the blog? I mean, I know how to get there but I’m sure we could all benefit from the tit pillow. Of course, I need two because mine would nestle in my underboobs and soak up sweat.Big Dot – Oh, he knows it’s wrong. “Your commenters will hate me!” I told him my Mom was already cursing him from Heaven anyway.
I didn’t leave a link because putting a link to my blog in your comments seemed kinda pushy and I felt pushy enough yelling at you to come see the tit pillows and the panty oder eaters.
I don’t think your butt is stinky, but ya gotta love something called Subtle Butt.
Sherri – We have a pimp your blog policy here, but I can see with the subject matter you’d be shy.
I was laughing by the second “suggestion.” The doctor has obviously not met the Gary that I know.
Hot Mom – I laughed right in his face. My man won’t do anything he doesn’t want to.