Crockpot


The Whomp-there-it-is Pork Loin was parceled out in thirds: one third was the ambitious rolled Emmenthal loin. That was a disaster, followed by the less ambitious garlic and rosemary loin, which then was remixed as the reliable Cream of Mushroom simmered pork, which was Fed to the Dog. So, this last third will be slumming it as Crockpot Pulled Pork with Bottled BBQ Sauce.

My crockpot has never been used to cook something while I’m out of the house, because, Mom asks, do you want the house to burn down when you’re at work? (Sorry, Shania.) No, I don’t. So I do my crockpot cooking rarely and on the weekend.

But the thick hunk of loin was still rock hard on Sunday morning that’s what she said, and after you cook one even partially-frozen turkey you don’t make that mistake twice. But waiting for a full refrigerator thaw would put me out to the beginning of the week.

“Other people use their crock pots during the day,” I thought. Then I noticed the Ghost of Mom by my elbow. “Buuuut – I would NEVER leave the house when any appliance was on.”

“Good girl,” Mom said. “Now get your hair out of your eyes.”

“Wait – I bet I could turn the crock pot on at ten p.m., then have it cook while I sleep!”

“Sure,” she said. “Do that. It’ll be nice to see you again. Of course, you’ll have burned to death in your sleep, at least. Don’t think I didn’t see you leave the room when you made that PieCake earlier tonight.”

“I think I’ll be okay cooking it at night. I’ve leaving this in the fridge until it thaws, then I’ll cook it tomorrow night.”

“Well, that’s just crazy. By the way, you haven’t sold my house yet? How hard is that? It’s not like I made you skate in the Olympics the week after I died.”


19 responses to “Crockpot”

  1. I think as long as you don’t plug it into an extension cord and then run it under the sofa so it can get pinched up under the leg and short out, you should be ok.

  2. I’m glad mom in your head speaks out from time to time. I miss her. And I can totally hear her when you channel her.
    And by the way, you can leave the crock pot cooking while you’re at work. It’s heavenly to come home and smell that luscious aroma in the air and know all you have to do is dish it up.

  3. Shania – unplugging all lamps and amps right now.Jenny – how can you mix oreos and wine? ugh!Becs- No. I can’t leave the house if the oven, dryer, or crockpot is on. I’ll be happy to pop it in the fridge tomorrow morning, that way I can skim the fat off tomorrow night.

  4. I not only leave the crockpot cooking all day while I’m gone; over Mardi Gras I left it cooking all night and most of the day in an empty apartment. You know, so we’d have hot beef when we showed up all drunk and cold.
    I live on the edge.

  5. Amy in StL – You are brave. I was very alarmed this morning when I realized that in my sleep I had forgotten about it and it was not my first thought on awakening. I remembered right before my shower and pulled the cord out of the wall. Because you cant even trust the Off switch on a craockpot.

  6. The only reason I own a crockpot is so it can slave away cooking my food while I’m not there. Hell, I have two crock pots. I set ’em up and let them race to see which can make the most delicious dinner before I get home.
    You DO unplug your fridge before you leave the house, right? That thing pulls power at at least 5 or 6 times that of the crock pot. and don’t be fooled by the cool interior. The back of that thing, where the coils are, gets sparky sparky hot. Oh yes, your fridge is just biding its time.

  7. Murphy (I know you by another name. Are you coming out?) – Mom-in-my-head gives you a baleful stare for that remark about the refrigerator, smart-ass.

  8. Yes, you do. I think I signed in with the wrong email. It’s still my name, just the other half of it. I just use it as a secret ID to protect the innocent, or something complicated like that.
    I smile ever so sweetly at Mom-in-your-head. My mom also used the crock pot to cook when she wasn’t at home, back when they were brand spanking new. She tried to bake a cake in it once. Yech.

  9. Big Dot – Ha! I saw that before – I love her. I thought of that just yesterday as I left the house.(I know I hit the button, but did I see the garage door go down? And it didn’t just bump at the bottom and come back up?)Sherri – Oh, like the cakes people baked in the microwave.Pah.

  10. Oh, god, microwave cake. Yech. I would totally use the crock pot while I wasn’t home, though. I’m just reckless like that.

  11. She should worry about the dog, I’m not there to get burnt to a crisp, should something go wrong, but the poor chihuahua is!
    My mom-in-my-head is the one who taught me to leave the crock pot on. She did put the candles in the sink if we were leaving the house and they were still burning, though. Presumably, if a burning candle falls over in the sink, nothing burns down.

  12. Tami -The only candles I can think of that you couldn’t just blow out and would have to let burn down in the sink would be menorah candles?

  13. …and if we left the house while the Sabbath candles were burning, it was because we were going to temple. I often cannot believe that I was raised like that, and yet I turned out like this. Mom in my head is yelling at me for my attitude about religion, right now.

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