Not good with money. Not good with math.
Don’t know nothin’ ’bout securities, don’t know much economy.
not in eighths .” Oh, yeah, and when the HELL did you change that rule, turdbunnies? Oh! 2001! OH! OH! Thank you for telling me! (And actually, thank God you changed that rule, because I would be flat-out doomed. I didn;t understand it when my Dad explained it when I was 12. It is probably what killed the securities neurons in my brain. Probably some lesion can be traced back to that very day:
Dad:“[incomprehensible reasoning related to Pieces of 8 and the South American stock exchange]”
My Brain:“[Zzzzt zzzt]” Brain shorts out.)
AND DID YOU KNOW They changed the start time for Saturday Night Live from 10:35 Central to 10:30 Central? Yeah? How did you find that out? Was there an announcement? It’s not related to corporate finance but it’s another example of the old folks being left out of the loop. You know what? It’s probably broadcast in that frequency only young people can hear, except no, I just clicked that link and that is a really obnoxious noise. Don’t click that.
I am reminded of when I had to turn to the juvenile section of our local library (where they kept the books about farting – no, no, seriously, it was the section for years 5-12) and checked out Our Friend the Sun so I could pass College Meteorology. So I could learn that the sun is closer in winter than in summer! (Are you shitting me? Did you know that? News to ME! When did THIS happen?)
However, I can tell you right now that if you are studying for Series 7, and you see an acronym, the O stands for Options. That’s a little bit of knowledge I am secure enough to pass on. Because I don’t keep secrets like the Stock Exchange and you dern kids do.
16 responses to “Insecurities”
I am a classic math idiot, never comprehending Algiberish, aka Algebra, and I knew (800)(1000)= 80000. Seriously, and I am older than you. That’s easy stuff. It;s when they throw in the letters and make alphabet soups that my brain turns to mush.
-44=2y+ -10x makes my head want to explode.
Wait till you get to Treasury securities where decimal places aren’t 10th’s but 32nd’s. (Ex. 17.8 = 17-1/4)
Woo. We’ll be hosing you down, fer sure.
Zayrina – HAHAHAHHAHAHA (800)(1000)= 800,000! You were wrong, girl. And I find the letters comforting. They are familiar. Geometry was even better, whole paragraphs.3- Talking me down, more like it.
Can you explain why, if stocks are sold in pennies, Fidelity calculates mutual funds to the tenths of pennies?
Of course (800)(1000)= 800,000 not 80000, but that is what you put in your post and I was trying not to be patronizing. Don’t worry, it’s obviously not contagious.
My God, you have my complete sympathy. I can’t even help my 13-year-old daughter with her math.
Talking about “You dern kids and yer new-fangled ways” … my daughter who just graduated from high school was, a couple of weeks ago, having to do some new way of multiplying that she was finding difficult (and which my wife and I were finding incomprehensible), and then my fourth-grade son taught her how to do it because he had just had it in school. How about that, huh? It’s not just we oldsters who are flummoxed by newer math!
Hey … I see a couple of guitars in the background of this picture: a Strat and an acoustic of some sort. Who’s the guitarist in the house? I know Gary is a drummer. Is it you who plays guitar, Queenie?
FOIL. This is the crap in my head because I grew up with a math teacher for a father. And now I do web development. Is that math? No idea.
I have a degree in math and still can’t figure out what the hell they’re teaching in elementary school these days. It’s like they’re trying to take the math out of math.About the series 7: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Better you than me.
Magpie – Because they are bastards? Because they think it will make them look more accurate?Zayrina – Nuh Unh! (800)(100) – I dont do four digits. Not when three will do.Heidi – My friend Carol said her daughter made up some new type of math. I always just multiply the easy numbers and then multiply the hard numbers and add them together. Vince – Oh, I am the guitarist. My favorite guitar is indeed actually blue.Tami – now that I’ve seenhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FOIL_rule…that’s pretty cool. Never heard that. Heard “Please excuse my dear aunt sally.” Caroline – You are mean. You would be great at Series 7. Take it for me!
What? The sun closer in winter??? That makes NO SENSE! I thought it was all about the earth tilting. Please explain.
Big Dot – Lemme think – in my hemisphere we are slanted further from the sun in winter, which is your summer, so I guess the time we are closest to the sun would be your winter. Don’t bring night and day into this because I’m already confused.
Ummm if it makes you feel any better I couldn’t hear that loud annoying frequency…nice.
Autumn – If a frequency isn’t heard, has it really sounded?
Oooohhhh…good thought 😉