Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: March 2009

  • Birthday Boy

    Oh, hi there. I’m back. I woke up this afternoon healed. A Miracle! But what else would you expect from a God whose head-cold intercession is summoned by the in-laws who pray at this shrine? Pretty impressive, no? It’s a real shrine from a nunnery that made it into Gary’s old room. Gary is truly…

  • Self-portrait at the macaroni grill

    Sitting and digesting the italian version of chopped salad.

  • Well this is strange

    My laptop works until I get into Windows. Then it blacks out. So the iPhone sends you this camo gnome.

  • Smelly Broads with Head Colds

    I fell asleep this weekend in a head-cold stupor, the dead sleep that hits you right after you allow the snot run directly out of your nose on to the pillow while your mouth gapes open and dries out. I was watching CNN when I fell asleep. I must have been, because I’ve been waiting…

  • Logic

    Gary and I were watching the Boost Mobile commercial with the pigs eating ham. Here is a still: Gary said, shocked, “What is that all over the pig?” “Uh, dirt? Pigs are dirty.” “That makes no sense.” I was expecting to hear “Pigs are actually very clean animals,” but he said, “They would have cleaned…

  • Words, they Fail Me

    I. Books In my continuing effort to limit my reading just to Pulitzer Prize winners/nominees and US Magazine, I tried to read The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. At least US Magazine is courteous enough to write in English. TBWOOW is at least 15% in Spanish. And it isn’t like the Yiddish in the…

  • Luncheon Pi

    (Just pretend I started this post at 1:59 on 3:14.) Lunch is GarySalad 2.0 – not as strong, a little richer (how I felt yesterday toting 40 pounds of Cream of Broccolli soup up two flights of steps). Gary made me Special GarySalad 2.0 with avocado. Instead of a pain scale at the hospital they…

  • Dinner Pie

    I had my annual review today. I had an entire French Silk pie for dinner. Draw your own conclusions. Were there tears? At the review? Of course. There are always tears at a review. If it’s a good review I cry because I hear no constructive criticism. (That was about 7 years ago, though.) If…

  • Sob

    Gary: I watched an Ideal Husband late last nightMe: Oh, I’ve seen that. Did you like it?Gary: The ending made me cry like a baby. I don’t recall crying at the end of An Ideal Husband. It would seem Oscar Wilde’s social satires do not tear me up the way they do Gary. (This has…

  • My Town Is Cool

    I read that George Clooney is in Saint Louis. _________________________________ Yeah? You don’t know where the fuck George is? Because I do. For the next month or so George is taking up residence in Saint Louis, Missouri, while filming a movie, and we will treat him soooo goood that boy will wander around Lake Como…