I read that George Clooney is in Saint Louis.
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Yeah? You don’t know where the fuck George is? Because I do. For the next month or so George is taking up residence in Saint Louis, Missouri, while filming a movie, and we will treat him soooo goood that boy will wander around Lake Como this summer sobbing, “Why doesn’t this shithole have Gooey Butter cake? Fuck.” (Fade from close up on George blinking back tears at the gelato stand to carefree George laughing merrily at Ted Drewes.)
Here’s what I like: people on the coast trying to sneer at Saint Louis. “Bland featureless cities like Saint Louis.” Hey, you coasters. Suck my menopausal dick. Come put your hand on our arch on a hot day. Keep saving Darfur, George!
Send George a message in the comments.
11 responses to “My Town Is Cool”
I was happy to see St. Louisans coming to the defense of our city on Celebitchy. That one chick who said she was lost once in STL and it was one giant ghetto made me want to kick her in the balls.
Oh, yeah, you have it sooo bad. Try living in Jersey.
And btw, George AND Brad AND Julia have been here.
Do you have a spare bedroom?
George and Brad were filming Burn After Reading not two blocks from where I work in Paramus, NJ, three weeks before I started working here. I was thinking about standing in the parking lot of the long deserted film shoot and see if I could find a piece of hair or something, but I got distracted.
Dear George:May I please come lick peanut butter off your stomach?Love,Angie
Angie totally stole my fantasy.
Christy – Yeah! Or we could jump her and cut her. Becs – I wonder if Jersey has the same issues StL has – if you grew up here you got out all of your StL hate in highschool. Outsiders have to work through it. Candy – That must have made for some good work lunches. Too bad you weren’t employed there at the time.Angie – There we go. That’s how you talk to a Darfur-savin’ man.3 – You and Angie will get salmonella or e-coli if you don’t stay away from the PB&George.
Queen- If that’s the way I go, I can think of no greater death. 🙂
Actually, George is so hot, he is capable of destroying salmonella and e-coli bacteria.
Angie – It’s an honor. Except for the diarrhea.3 – George is an autoclave.
Update: My high school was renamed and featured in some scene last week while the kids were on spring break. Apparently they decided to extend winter by covering the ground in fake snow despite the 70 degree weather. My dad drove by and decided to take pictures to send to my brother and me. He poked his nose into the gym and spotted Clooney shooting baskets. Funny, I haven’t seen the pics yet.
Caroline – Two degrees of George separation!