Vista

Not Windows Vista. Picture-frame Vista.

Due to the poor economy I now have more framed artwork than there is in Florence Italy. Before I nailed it up, I made paper templates on all the frames, marked with where the center is and where the wire peaks. Then I lived with the paper templates on the walls a few weeks. Then I did some shuffling and lived with that a few weeks.

Finally I hung all the frames by first: hammering in the nail into the marked place on the template, then: hanging the picture, and finally: sitting in every seat in the room to study if the new frame still contributed to a harmonious vista.

So this is why I was annoyed when Gary suddenly said this morning, “Damn! Dude, is there a wall you didn’t leave empty?”

“Yeah, the green wall in the living room only has one picture on it.”

“It looks kind of crazy from this corner. Come stand here!” he squealed delightedly, as he does when I have done something stupid.

And he was right. If you open all the doors and stand at the very end of the hallway with your back against the linen closet door and slowly turn your head about 20 degrees you can count about 24 frames.

To the right:

Photoguest

(That’s the guest room / music room / blogging room / Waverly Wallpaper Tribute room.)

To the left:

Photoblur

(That’s a blurry row of Alphonse Mucha prints – only 4 of the 8 prints in the bedroom.)

Then when you look straight down the hall you can see the wall of the medical bathroom in the mirror and the BNL shrine with its nudity.

Photobathroom

Turn your head a shade to the right and you can see the BNL Shrine plus the big print over the messy bench. About the bench – I considered cleaning off the bench (and making the guest room bed) but I know I always feel so much more welcome when friends let me in when things haven’t been tidied. So, here’s the big print over the Cinema Verite bench / coat rack/ shoe rack/ Wii cabinet:

Photobnl

Down in the bottom right corner below the thermostat is the edge of a frame Gary insisted last night had to go up in that big green space. I put my foot down and insisted he live with a paper template for a while.

With 46 prints and a 1,400 square foot house –

Excuse me – did you just think, “What a tiny house!” I can hear you, you know. A 1,400 square foot paid OFF house –

– that means one framed print every 30.43 square feet, or 6.57 pictures a room. But somehow, it doesn’t look too crazy. As long as you don’t stand against the linen room door at the end of the hallway. It looks nuts from there.

Oh, and here’s the print that started it all- The Booger Print:

Photobooger


9 responses to “Vista”

  1. rock on there!um. why do you have so many prints?ah, doesn’t matter I suppose, the quirky people are the most fun. btw-very nice having a wikipedia donate button on the side there:)Mrs. Hall

  2. Jeez. And I thought I was going overboard with the great big pseudo-painting from IKEA over my tiny little loveseat in the living room. Girl, you are rocking the frame industry.

  3. I’m only in a 1000 square foot house, so most of my prints and paintings and photos are still in storage. Also, I put framed stuff on bookshelves and on top of them.In the current room (living/dining) — 12 prints, and about 24 photographs. The walls are beige in this house. I’m doing all I can to cover that.

  4. Mrs. Hall – Oh, I was the last customer at a frame and print store that went out of business. Becs – I have cornered the market on frames.Sherri – No! Nothing can go on top of shelves. It interrupts the flow of the chi or some such fung shui thing..75 – He always says “Dude.” Only, if I say “Dude” first he says “Dudette.”Hot Mom – I always think of that as a picture of your twins with your uterus as backdrop.

  5. .75 – Yeah. It’s the long thin B&W ultrasound of the twins by the mirror.ScottieDawg – I think my friends rule for letting people view their intestines and esophaguses.

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